The Weakness That Is Love
by Rdr2
Summary: Raven’s control over her emotions is the key to her power. But then her power starts to wane…because she’s falling in love. Now she has to choose between her magic and her heart. RobinRaven. COMPLETE
1. Chapter One

_Raven's control over her emotions is the key to her power. But then her power starts to wane…because she's falling in love. Now she has to choose between her magic and her heart. Robin/Raven. REGULARLY UPDATED_

**Chapter One**

It was not often that Raven got to do any detective work. Indeed, most of the Teen Titans didn't know the first thing about investigation. Most of the sleuthing was Robin's job, since he was the only one with any training in the field. But when given—forced—to do some, Raven found the task surprisingly…invigorating.

Someone was going on a rampage, systematically hitting every major corporation in the city and robbing it blind. The others had immediately assumed it was Slade; there were a number of things left behind at the scene of each crime pointing to him. But Robin insisted it was someone else. He wouldn't explain how he knew. He just sent Starfire, Beast Boy, and Cyborg on a circuited, detailed patrol.

And he asked Raven to stay behind at the Tower, to help him in his work. "Why?" she asked plain and simply when he gave the orders. His answer took her by surprise: "Because you're the smartest and the most mature of the others." She hadn't expected him to be so…blunt. She certainly hadn't expected him to actually think of his fellow Titans as children.

"Look," Robin had said, "We might be dealing with a very skilled and intelligent opponent. So we have to figure out what he—or she—is up to, what the motive is, what the goal is. We have to learn our enemy. I can't do it alone, and if I rely on someone who's not taking this as seriously as it should be, then there will be problems. I'd be a sorry leader if I jeopardized your lives by not dealing with this new enemy to all of my ability. And that means I need help from someone who takes this job as seriously as I do."

"Which is where I come in," Raven finished. She had to admit, she felt her pride swell when he selected her. It felt…good. So she threw herself into her work. That surprised her; Raven played second-fiddle to no one. But here she was, trying to meet up to her leader's expectations. _It's only because he said I was more mature than the others,_ she rationalized. _It's…good…to be appreciated._

By mid-afternoon, Robin—with Raven's help—figured out that the criminal was an escapee from the state asylum for the deranged. The criminal, a seemingly average Joe Schmoe, had developed an unhealthy obsession with Slade, adopting the villain's mannerisms to an exaggerated degree. By nightfall, the madman had started using bombs. Raven saw the stress bend Robin's shoulders. "People are dying out there," he murmured, as if cursing himself for some failing. "News broadcasts have the body count at fourteen now. We have to work harder." And so they worked harder.

By midnight, Robin and Raven had found his hideout and sent the coordinates to the city's police department; the cops were already surrounding an abandoned building on the corner of Smith and Harley when Robin gave the word for the Titans to converge.

When the Titans arrived, Raven saw that five cops lay dead and another three groaned from the pain of their wounds. The madman had a small locker of weapons, enough to outfit a sturdy militia. Robin surveyed the field. Raven noted how his jaw hardened at the sight of the dead. "We should have gotten here sooner," he growled quietly, but loudly enough that Raven heard the venom and self-reproach in his voice. The Boy Wonder's eyes hardened and he gave his commands, every inch the leader. "Listen up, team. The cops are authorized to use lethal force. We have to get in that building and apprehend the criminal before they can kill him. No one else dies tonight. Understand?"

He spoke with such conviction, such raw determination, that Raven was taken aback. She'd never seen him this…intense…before. Suddenly, he was another person. Perhaps it was a trick of the light, but she swore that when he walked past the shadow of a street lamp, his silhouette looked like a bat. Raven admonished herself for her flights of fancy; she was the most mature of the Titans—Robin said so—so she had to act like it. She and the other Titans went into the building.

Five minutes later, they came out with the madman and turned him over to the authorities.

* * *

Titan Tower had everything the young heroes needed: entertainment, high-tech gear, the best equipment in the world. An infirmary. The madman had managed to get a loose shot off. Robin took the hit, square in the back. Fortunately, it was in his trapezius and not anywhere life-threatening. Still, it was serious enough to warrant immediate attention.

The other Titans had gone off doing whatever it was they did for relaxation; video games, channel-surfing, whatever. Raven tried to read, but her mind couldn't get around the sound of a gun firing. She sighed and went to pay Robin a visit. She found him sitting on an operating table in the infirmary, his hands behind him. Her eyes widened in astonishment. Robin was removing the bullet himself.

It must have hurt, since he was working without anesthetics, and it must have been an excessively difficult task. He only had a pair of mirrors to see what his hands were doing. But Raven watched, fascinated by the Boy Wonder's truly wondrous manual dexterity. The bullet came free, heralding a gout of fresh blood from the wound.

Without a word, Raven went to the sink, washed her hands with antiseptic and water, filled a bowl with hot water, and dampened a wash cloth. She went to Robin and started cleaning the wound. "You could have just asked one of us to help," she said dryly. "After tonight's caper, you didn't have to prove your toughness."

Robin ignored her sarcasm. "None of you have any training in surgery."

"Then you should have called a doctor."

"Then my identity would be compromised."

Raven set the bowl down with a hard _clang_. "Your attitude is compromising," she retorted with vitriol. "The bad guy's been brought to justice already. We won. But you've been high-strung ever since we got back. What's your problem?"

"People died," he growled, as if that were all the explanation needed. "We…I…should have solved the case sooner. Should have gotten into the warehouse before the cops arrived."

"You sound like it's your fault." Raven saw that he was going to speak, but she pressed on. "You _do_ think it's your fault! Robin, I'm probably not the best person to be saying this, but it isn't your fault. You did everything you could, more than anyone expects of you. We all did. Tonight, we did some good out there. Nineteen people died, yes, but the death count could have been a lot higher."

He didn't say anything. He just sat there, his jaw set and hard. Raven sighed; she suspected that he would berate himself for his "failings" for the rest of the night. She couldn't do anything for his spiritual pain—she, above anyone else in the Teen Titans, knew that kind of pain was something that could only be dealt with personally—but she could at least take away his physical pain.

She started to apply a patch over his wound. She grimaced when she regarded his back. "My God," she murmured.

"What is it?" he asked.

"I didn't…expect to see so many scars."

"It's a drawback of being human," he said matter-of-factly. "I don't have superpowers, Raven. I don't have your magic or Cyborg's armor to protect me, I can't turn into a thick-skinned animal like Beast Boy can, and I don't have Starfire's durability." He shrugged. "You get used to pain when you're a human."

Raven shook her head. "You sound so…resigned about it." She traced over other bullet holes—as many entrance wounds as there were exits. "Some of these are as big as a bottle cap," she said quietly.

"I grew."

Her head snapped to him in surprise. "You're kidding." Seeing that he was not, she looked back at the wounds. There were bullet holes…and more. Slashes, jagged cuts, claw marks. His back was a network of years of violence. _But then again,_ she reminded herself, _he's been doing this all his life._

She absently traced some of the bigger scars. Caught up in her scrutiny of his injuries, Raven didn't see how Robin shivered under her cool touch. "This one here must have hurt a lot," she said, running her fingernail along his ribcage.

"The Joker put a rusty knife in me that time," Robin said quietly, haunted by the memory. "Luckily, it wasn't long enough to hit my heart, but I was afraid that I'd get tetanus from it. Obviously, I didn't."

"And this one?"

"Two-Face. Shot me three times, hit me once in the lower back. Almost paralyzed me."

"And this?"

Robin abruptly hopped off the table, hastily throwing on his shirt. "Thanks for cleaning the wound, Raven," he said stiffly, walking out the door.

Raven looked at the table. _He forgot to take his cape with him._

_

* * *

That…was awkward, Robin thought once he was back in the sanctuary of his room. He shut the door and leaned against it. He didn't share too many moments like that with any of his friends. Moments that made him so uncomfortable, so…well…awkward. Now that he thought about it, the only one who had ever touched his back was Alfred, back at Wayne Manor, and only to pluck out bullet slugs or to stitch a wound. And __his_ hands had certainly never felt that…. Robin thought once he was back in the sanctuary of his room. He shut the door and leaned against it. He didn't share too many moments like that with any of his friends. Moments that made him so uncomfortable, so…well…awkward. Now that he thought about it, the only one who had ever touched his back was Alfred, back at Wayne Manor, and only to pluck out bullet slugs or to stitch a wound. And hands had certainly never felt that…. 

_Don't say it felt good_, Robin admonished himself sternly, _don't even think it._

Raven was already an enigma to him. Mysterious, withdrawn, and generally unfriendly, she was a ghost at the edges of the Titan's camaraderie. Yet she held herself with more maturity and grace than any of the others. Robin didn't initially trust her, but he had come to respect her. She was smart and resourceful, and her magic certainly gave her an edge.

Actually, she reminded him a lot of Batman. _Mysterious, withdrawn, and generally unfriendly,_ he mused with a touch of amusement. His smile vanished when he thought about her fingers. They felt good. He admitted it. That alone made him feel awkward. _Why did she do that?_ the detective part of his mind asked. The other part of his mind—the part that was a hot-blooded seventeen-year-old—asked: _Why didn't you stay for more?_

Robin ignored that part.

It didn't help that she knocked on his door no less than five minutes after he left her.

"Um, come in," he said.

The door opened. Raven was standing at the threshold with his cape in hand. "You forgot this," she said coolly. She tossed the garment to him. He caught it.

"Thanks," he said. She left without another word. Somehow, he thought that awkward silence would have been more appropriate.

The next day was a quiet day. Robin had already gotten over his brief moment of discomfiture around Raven and started to act more like his normal self. The next day was quiet, too. And so were the day after and the one after that. Robin, who thrived on the thrill of a fight and the challenge of a mystery, grew restless and bored.

Raven, he noted with envy, took the unusually halcyon days in stride. Her distant, cold serenity never faltered, except in those times when Beast Boy or Cyborg interrupted her meditations with their inanities and horseplay.

Curious about how she maintained such a degree of passivity in the face of monotony's ugly visage, Robin decided to ask her. He found her on the roof of the Tower, sitting in a half-lotus position. Her small hands were in her small lap, her small chin tilted into her chest. Robin hadn't realized until now how small she was. "Hey," he greeted.

Raven opened her eyes, but didn't turn to face him. "Is there something you wanted, Robin?" she asked.

"Sorry if I disturbed you," he said, "but I wanted to ask you something."

"Then ask." She was brusque.

"Well…I was wondering how you manage to stave off boredom all the time."

The question took her aback. Robin could sympathize. It was not a question he would normally ask. This time, she did look at him, with something of akin to amusement in her violet eyes. "It's quite simple really. I just think about something else. You know how I write poetry?"

"Yes."

"I just think about a new poem I want to write. The mental exercise is enough to keep me occupied."

"You're kidding. That's all?"

"Yes." She turned away from him again, seemingly to resume her trance. "Boredom only demonstrates a mind that doesn't have any imagination."

"I can't tell if that's supposed to be an insult or not."

"It wasn't intended to be."

She didn't say anything more. Robin, feeling awkward in the ensuring silence, spoke up. "Um…do you mind if I sit with you? Batman tried to teach me meditations a while ago, but it never really worked out. Could I join you? Maybe I'll find something to think about in the meantime."

Raven was quiet for a long moment. Then, as if after careful consideration, she said, "Yes." Robin sat down next to her, folding his legs. He thought he caught a slight reddening of her pale cheeks, but immediately set the thought aside; Raven was as composed as ever.

* * *

The minutes crawled by as they sat there in the fading afternoon light. Raven felt strangely at peace, more so than she had ever been in her solitary meditations. _Perhaps this is what I've been missing,_ she thought. _Companionship. Real companionship._ The thought awakened a mixture of contentment and dread. She didn't want to rely on anyone for anything, especially not her own happiness.

Relying on people meant leaving yourself vulnerable in the worst possible way: because you let it happen. But Raven was a girl of introspection, who valued self-knowledge and discipline. She was all too aware that she _wanted_ real friends. Not just partners like the Teen Titans. She wanted someone who actually understood her.

Robin may not be that person, but he certainly made her feel better. He didn't judge her. Never once did he think her "creepy" or "strange." Sometimes she thought he didn't fully trust her, but that was only to be expected; she wasn't the most open and amicable person to be around. But he never walked circles around her, either. He was always so bold, always so tolerant. Her quirks, her coldness, her withdrawn attitude never seemed to bother him. And when she wanted to be left alone, he left her alone. He respected the one thing she cherished most: privacy.

So it made her feel better to have someone like that keeping her company on her meditations, even if the company was silent. If it bothered Robin any, he had the sense to keep it to himself. Raven appreciated his discretion.

Raven broke her meditations to look at him. His eyes were closed, though it was hard to tell behind the mask he always wore. He always seemed to wear it. She couldn't think of ever seeing his face without it. Raven had always cloaked herself in mystery, and, in his own way, so did Robin. That was another thing that made her feel less like a stranger around him. His closed eyes, his steady breathing were indications of a deep meditative trance. She wondered what he was thinking about. She closed her eyes to resume her own trance.

"Beautiful," he murmured suddenly. Raven looked at him sharply, thinking that he was referring to her. Despite herself and all her discipline, she felt the heat of a blush burn across her cheeks.

But Robin wasn't looking at her. He was looking at the sunset. The expression on his face was one of someone who was seeing it for the first time. "It's a beautiful sunset, isn't it?" This time, he did look at her. An eyebrow raised in puzzlement. "Raven? You're face is red."

Raven hastily stood and drew her hood over her face to hide the telltale color. She felt betrayed. Her discipline had betrayed her. So why did she feel so…alive? "Nothing. I'm fine," she said tersely. "It's getting cold. Let's go back inside."

She left for the stairs at a hustle, pretending not to care if he followed. But in her heart of hearts, though she didn't want to admit it, she was glad that he was.


	2. Chapter Two

**Chapter Two**

Doctor Light was on the loose again, and had been all week. He had broken out of prison and quickly stole all the components he needed to rebuild his light machine and his armaments. His latest caper involved stealing the city's biggest magnifying lens from an observatory telescope in order to use it as a focus for a ray gun. Involving a cutting beam of artificial sunlight, of course.

Robin thought it looked like a weather balloon with a TV antenna hanging from it. Or a really round rank with a big toothpick sticking out of it. He thought it looked stupid. But that didn't make it any less dangerous.

Cyborg was overheating his arm cannon; he had been firing high-power shots the entire fight, but the energy bolts only bounced off the ray gun's mirrored surface. Starfire and Raven were having similar problems for the same reason. Doctor Light had come prepared for this fight.

The villain in question hooted with laughter from within the tank. "You'll never quench the light!" he gloated, firing the ray gun. A beam of yellow light spewed forth, tearing into the road. Robin rolled to the side to safety. As soon as he was clear, he threw a cluster of tiny plastic explosives. They latched onto the tank and detonated. But when the smoke cleared, Doctor Light's mechanical monstrosity was undamaged.

Robin gritted his teeth in frustration. "Beast Boy," he said. "Smash it to the ground."

But not even a tyrannosaurus could dent Doctor Light's metal creation. The tank lumbered on, tearing up an earthworks with its toothed treads. Cars squealed as they were crumpled beneath. Lampposts sparked. Hydrants spewed showers. The Titans retreated step by step, dodging the pulverizing power of the cannon.

"Any other ideas?" Raven asked her leader, her pale face lathered in a sweaty sheen.

"I'm working on it," Robin said stiffly. He eyed the cannon warily. "Hey, the lens is inside there…and it isn't armored." A bold plan sprung to mind. "Starfire, Cyborg: hit the thing with everything you've got. Beast Boy, run interference. Raven, catch." He tossed another bomb to her. "Throw it right down the barrel," he ordered. The dark-haired girl nodded, understanding her role.

The Titans moved in concert, some blasting, others slamming. Amidst the chaos and the lasers, Raven navigated through the deadly lightshow toward her target. A black cloud of magic surrounded the explosive in her hands. With a thought, the bomb floated into the cannon's barrel, pressing itself against the magnifying lens within. In theory, the bomb would have detonated and disabled the cannon. But Robin didn't expect the cannon to recharge so fast.

Doctor Light, unsuspecting of the danger, fired the cannon one more time.

The cannon and the tank exploded. Raven tried to veer away but was swept up in the inferno.

"_Raven!_" Robin cried. He cursed himself under his breath, growing louder with each word. "Idiot! Idiot! Should have known this would happen! Idiot!" Though not particularly religious, he prayed fervently that his friend was all right. _If there is a God_, he thought, _now is a good time for me to believe._

* * *

Doctor Light survived the ordeal with two broken bones and first-degree burns; his special suit had protected him from greater injury. He was arrested, stripped of his gear, and returned to the state penitentiary without bail. His previous sentence of ten years was extended to thirty-five.

Knowing that didn't make Robin feel any better. Raven lay still as death on the infirmary bed. Her already pale face had turned even more ashen. He didn't want to think that she looked like a corpse. His haunted gaze went to the EKG by her bed. A steady pulse, but weak. Her other vitals were poor, as well.

Though her magic had protected her from burn injuries and shrapnel, a large piece of the tank's hull struck her full-force in the back, almost breaking her spine in two. The blunt trauma alone had been enough to knock her unconscious, as well as break her shoulder, clavicle, four ribs, and lower three vertebrae. She had a concussion. There was internal bleeding—just recently stopped. In short, she wasn't expected to survive.

And Robin laid the fault on himself.

"You didn't know about the recharge, Rob," Cyborg said to him as they looked upon Raven's too-still form.

"Yeah, you were only trying to protect everyone—even Doctor Light," added Beast Boy. "Disabling the cannon was a good idea."

"If it was such a good idea," Robin growled, his fury rising, "then why is she lying there?" He shouted the last, terrifying his two friends. But he didn't care. In truth, the anger and the shout were aimed at himself. For his mistake.

Starfire laid a comforting hand on his shoulder. "You must not burden yourself so," she said soothingly. "She _will_ recover. She is Raven." She spoke with such surety, such belief. Robin wished he could believe, too. But he had seen injuries like Raven's before…his parents had them. He wished he could believe.

Eventually, the physicians sent the young heroes to the waiting room, suggested that it would be best if they went home and returned in the morning. They sounded confident, professional. They looked it, too. But Robin had been trained to see past faces and smiles and nice words. He saw the shift in their eyes, heard the sigh as soon as his back was turned. They had already given up on Raven.

Robin felt so helpless. Raven was dying. Yes, he didn't know her as well as he would have liked—she rarely talked about herself, and then only reluctantly—but she was still a teammate, a Titan, and, more than that—a friend. The death of his parents held more than enough sadness. He didn't want to add another name to the list. Robin's hands clenched into fists. He wouldn't let Raven die. Not if he could help it.

He grabbed an orderly's arm. "I need to use a phone."

There was only one person in all the world who could save her, Robin knew. He dialed a number. A prim British voice answered: "Wayne residence."

"Alfred. It's me."

"Oh, Master Richard. So good of you to call. Sir? Is something wrong? You sound stressed."

"I need to talk to Bruce. A friend…a friend got hurt. He's the only one I can turn to."

* * *

The Batman donned his mask and gloves, ignoring the chill of the Batcave. "I don't know what he expects me to do, Alfred," he said. "I'm no physician and Leslie Thompson isn't a surgeon." Batman didn't like it when he didn't know something. But he was all too aware that, despite his encyclopedic knowledge of practically every topic, he couldn't do everything. Though he despised the term, he was little more than a jack-of-all-trades.

"Master Richard thinks very highly of you, sir," Alfred said by way of explanation, handing the crimefighter his cape. "I'm sure you can help him, even if not directly. Surely you know someone who knows someone who knows someone?"

"If his friend's injuries are as severe as he says, I doubt anyone I know can save her."

"Oh, dear." Alfred went to a precipice at one end of the Cave, where an operating table and several large machines stood. He diligently prepared the infirmary to receive its incoming patient. "You'll at least try, sir?"

"Of course. But aside from the morphine and surgical tools we have here…. Alfred, there simply isn't anyone I can call. They're either not skilled enough or too far away to summon in time to help."

There was an echoing roar in the Cave. The Teen Titans had arrived. Batman looked at the young heroes and the pale girl lying upon the stretcher. He saw Robin, seemingly calm. But he saw his former partner's hidden turmoil, his uncertainty, his fear. Batman's eyes narrowed and his jaw firmed. He didn't have to say that he was going to try his best to save the girl—even though he knew he couldn't.

Robin looked up at his mentor. _Please,_ he thought wildly. He did not usually beg. He was too proud for that, just like Batman. But this once, just this once—he would do it. Batman saw the look in Robin's eyes and silently took control. He led the stretcher to the operating table and gently lay the dying girl on it.

"Alfred, start a morphine drip," he commanded. "Robin, on my desk upstairs is a Rolodex. Call up the following people…." Batman might not be able to save her, and all the doctors on Earth might not be able to do it either, but he would be a poor human being indeed if he didn't at least give it his best shot.

* * *

She woke up to a dull ache that became a fiery pain. A moan escaped her strangely dry lips. She tried to turn her head, to look around, but her body didn't obey. Refused to obey. The agony subsided after what seemed like hours, but was probably only a few minutes. Raven took in a labored breath. The painful fog melted away.

She was lying on a bed. In a cave. There was a light above her. It stung her eyes. It was cold and she shivered. And no wonder; she had been stripped to a hospital gown. She tried to sit up, but strong, sure hands gently pushed her back down.

"Who're you?" Raven asked the kindly-faced old man. "And where am I?"

"My name is Alfred Pennyworth. And this is the Batcave. Master Richard—Robin—brought you here last night."

"Robin did?" she murmured tiredly, suddenly losing focus. It was a struggle to pay attention to the old man's words.

"Yes. He and your other friends…uh…stole you from the hospital and brought you here. Batman called in some help—the most respected surgeons in the country. Some of them work for the Justice League and were in the area. You're very lucky, Miss Raven. Had your friends brought you here an hour later, you probably would have died."

Raven was only paying half-attention. By the time he finished, she had fallen back asleep.

She woke up hours later, feeling very hungry. But at least her mind had cleared. It didn't hurt to move, either. She slid her legs over the edge of the bed, ignoring the nauseous feeling dancing around in her stomach. Hunger gnawed at her, and she would be damned if a little vertigo would stop her.

Her bare feet touched the cold ground of the Batcave, sending a shock of coldness rushing to her brain. She shivered and then lurched. The room seemed to spin around her, a confusing menagerie of blurring colors. Strong hands gripped her arms, forced her back to the bed, supported her as she sat up and waited for the room to stop moving.

"You shouldn't be up," Robin admonished, his grip on her being exceptionally gentle.

Raven smiled wanly at him. "Just a little dizzy. I'm all right, really."

He frowned. _Was that...pain...that just went across his face?_ Raven wondered.

"You're not all right," Robin whispered. "You're not all right because I screwed up. I'm…no apology of mine can make up for it, but I'm sorry."

_Ah, so that's it,_ the dark-haired girl realized. "You have nothing to apologize for. Guilt doesn't become you," she said sincerely. "What happened to me was unfortunate, but it wasn't your fault. You couldn't possibly know that Light had that trick up his sleeve."

"Should have anticipated it," he countered, his tone almost savage in its intensity. "I should have thought of every possibility, no matter how remote."

"If you did that, then we wouldn't have been able to do anything," she chided.

"Still, it's my fault you got hurt. I gave the order."

Raven threw him a withering—and disappointed—glare. "You, you, you. It's all about you today, isn't it, Boy Wonder?" she said scathingly. He looked up in surprise. "Did you ever stop to consider who else was involved in that mess? Doctor Light, for one. Me, for the other."

"You?"

"Yes, me. I should have tried moving the bomb in from a farther distance. Would have given me more time to dodge. But I moved in too close. No reason why I did that. I just did. So it's also my fault that I'm in this bed." A ghost of a smile touched her lips. "This isn't always about what _you_ do, Robin. Let everyone else have a little spotlight."

The absurdity of the logic made him laugh—as Raven had intended. "I'm surprised; you just used humor."

"I'm full of surprises," she replied enigmatically.

"That's only because you never tell us about yourself."

She shrugged, conceding the point.

Robin touched her arm, squeezed it companionably. "How are you feeling?"

"Thirsty. Hungry."

He chuckled. "I'll be right back with some food, then."

Robin turned to leave, but Raven stopped him. "Wait. Robin, it really isn't your fault. Even if you blame yourself, I don't." She extended a hand and rubbed his arm. At the simple gesture, Robin turned his face away, suddenly overcome with emotion he rarely showed. _In some ways,_ Raven mused, _you're more of a loner, more of a recluse than I am. But, Robin, you're not ready to close yourself off like I am. You don't need to hide._ As if reading her thoughts, the Boy Wonder began to sob.

"I'm sorry, Raven."

She smiled, and it wasn't just a ghostly smile. It was a real smile. "I told you, you don't have to be."


	3. Chapter Three

**Chapter Three**

It took three days for Raven to recover enough to stay awake for more than an hour. Once she had a hearty breakfast in her, she was able to walk without more than a few stumbles. She wouldn't be going on any missions for the next several weeks, but so far there has been no call for the Titans to mobilize. Deciding to take advantage of the reprieve from crimefighting, the young heroes stayed over at Wayne Manor, under Batman's good graces.

Now awake, alert, and breakfasted, Raven took a long survey of the Batcave. The dark and foreboding domain made her feel strangely at home. It radiated a sense of delicate privacy and intensity; she could sympathize. But the ambience wasn't the only thing that drew her interest. Batman had enough gear to fight an army. She found the fleet of Batmobiles—each of varying design and specialty—particularly amusing.

"Boys and their toys," she mused dryly.

"He has money to burn," Robin replied, coming up behind her. "You seem better."

"I can say the same of you." Raven looked him up and down. He did seem more like his old self. He was smiling, for one thing.

"I thought about what you said a few days ago. And I took them to heart. I still blame myself, but only because I'm a leader and I should always take responsibility for my comrades. But I don't blame myself for failing. Like you kept saying, the fault wasn't mine to take."

She grinned, a small curve of her pert lips. "I'm glad that you finally got your head on straight. So, since you're done moping and I'm done healing, why don't you give me a tour of this place?"

Robin showed her everything, with a great deal of enthusiasm. _He must be making up for lost time,_ she thought wryly. Indeed, he exhibited unusual gusto when he showed her the Cray mainframe and the chemistry lab. That went double for the forensics table.

"This is my favorite part of the Cave," he admitted, beaming with all the excitement of a boy receiving the Christmas gift he always wanted.

"I figured," said Raven. "You're a detective, after all. You must've spent a lot of time here."

"Batman more than me," he said. "I wasn't much of a detective back then. It took me a long time to appreciate the challenge."

"That only means you've matured." Raven's attention went over to the far wall of the Cave, which was lined in glass containers. They held costumes. She went over to them, curious.

"Oh, no…." she heard Robin murmur. He grabbed her arm. "Um, you don't need to see those."

"Why not?" she asked, slipping her arm free of his grasp and continuing on her way.

She saw the very first Batman costume, a simple gray-and-black affair, where the gloves didn't even have the protrusions and the insignia lacked a yellow field. Next to it was the second Batman costume, much closer in appearance to the current cape and cowl. Next to that….

"Oh my sweet Lord," she said softly with an unrestrained—and uncharacteristic—giggle.

It was the first Robin costume. A red runic, a brilliantly bright yellow cape…and a very, _very_ daring pair of short shorts.

With pixie boots.

The boots alone were enough to turn the dark-haired girl into a helpless pile of laughter. She gripped her abdomen; she was guffawing hard enough for her belly to hurt.

Robin frowned. "It isn't that funny."

"Oh yes it is," Raven said, getting back to her feet and wiping tears from her eyes. "Wait until the others hear about—"

"Oh no you don't!" Robin protested. "No one else finds out about this."

"Why ever not, Pixie Boots?" she asked with false innocence. She was about ready to fall down laughing again.

Robin had to admit, he wanted to join in. He rarely heard the somber Raven laugh. It was surprisingly gleeful and infectious. She looked like a completely different person when her pale face flooded with cheer. The shroud of mystery left her dark eyes, and for once Robin could see her as something other than an enigma. When she laughed, she looked like any other pretty-faced girl.

Raven wiped away more tears. "So, tell me Robin, those hot pants over there…you must have gotten pretty cold wearing those."

A vein was about ready to pop in Robin's temple. He _really_ didn't like it when people mentioned those shorts. "I'll bet a month's allowance that my legs look better than yours," he retorted before he could stop himself. He wanted to slap himself in the face.

Raven only laughed more. "Oh, Robin," she wheezed, "you're killing me here. Stop, please. I'm already out of breath."

They were interrupted by the approach of the other Titans. Robin wanted to curl up in a little ball. "Raven?" Beast Boy ventured warily. "Are you…laughing?"

"That _never_ happens," Cyborg blurted.

Starfire went up to the dark-haired girl and pressed a hand to her forehead, as if looking for a temperature. "Are you…all right?" she asked in wide-eyed concern.

Raven just chuckled. "I'm fine, Starfire. I just saw something very funny."

Robin tried to stop her. "No, Raven," he said meekly. "Don't…."

She ignored him and pointed to the costume.

The Boy Wonder's humiliation was complete.

"Oh! It's adorable!"

"Those are mighty small, Rob. I guess the long cape must be compensating for something."

"…Whoa."

And through it all, Raven just laughed.

* * *

Having tired of the monotony of the Batcave, Raven wandered up into Wayne Manor proper. Her tour of the enormous household brought her to the library. "Master Bruce has quite the collection," Alfred had told her when she asked about it. "In addition to several complete sets of reference manuals and textbooks by respected professors, he has a vast selection of Western, European, and Japanese literature."

Raven hadn't seen so complete a library since her days in the monastery of Azarath. She eagerly floated from shelf to shelf, content simply to peruse the tomes. Some she had read a thousand times before, but still enjoyed turning through the pages every time: _The Collected Short Stories of Edgar Allan Poe_, _The Collected Works of H.P. Lovecraft_, Milton's _Paradise Lost_, Dante's _Inferno_, and a score of other books. Most she had never seen before, but that didn't make the experience of paging through them any less exciting.

She was beside a shelf dedicated to Arthur Conan Doyle, when Robin entered. At first, Raven thought it was some other teenager living under the Wayne roof, because Robin was dressed in street clothes.

"So I finally get to see you without the mask," she said lightly. Raven tilted her head approvingly at him. He was wearing khakis and a button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows. He wore a sweater over it. "You clean up pretty good," she said offhandedly. "Even though you look like something out of the seventies."

His cheeks colored a bit at her compliment and he looked strangely uncomfortable. "It's…been a while since I dressed like this. But Batman…Bruce…has a rule. No capes upstairs. You should probably call me Dick while I'm in my civvies."

"Very well…Dick." Raven suspected it would take her some getting used to.

"So…what book are you reading?"

She showed it to him. "I've never read a mystery before," she said. "I figured I should start at the basics."

"Sherlock Holmes is one of those 'hit and miss' types," he said. "Sometimes it's interesting and sometimes it isn't. Sherlock never had to tangle with the Joker."

"And fighting the deranged and dangerous makes life all the more interesting, of course," Raven agreed. She took the book back and flew to put it back on the shelf. When she settled down, she noticed the concern on Dick's face. "Is something the matter?"

"Are you sure you should be using your powers right now?" he asked. "You don't want to tax yourself too much. You just recovered."

She smiled warmly—she was finding it easier to be warm, at least around him—and said, "Thanks for worrying, but I'm fine. Flying is second nature to me. It only drains a negligible amount of my power, so I can keep it up indefinitely."

"Still…" Dick began to argue, but then shook his head and smiled. "All right. If you say you're okay, then you're okay. But can you do me a favor? Humor me and try to keep the powers to a minimum. If only because girl flying around with her legs flashing will draw some unwanted attention here."

Raven grinned in a way that was almost…impish. "So you notice my legs, do you?" Dick stammered and blushed; Raven chuckled. "I'm just teasing, Dick. Actually, I was wondering if you even noticed girls. You're always working on some new case. You never seem to have time to wind down and relax."

"Oh, I notice," he said. "I just don't have time to do anything about it. Speaking of relaxing, Beast Boy's trying to organize a road trip to the beach once we get back home. You think you're up to it? I know you don't like crowded places…."

Raven shook her head and gave him a reassuring grin. "I'd love to come."

Dick clapped her on the shoulder. "It's settled then. We'll be leaving tomorrow morning."

* * *

As soon as Dick left, Raven sighed. She had never actually gone to any social gathering before…not willingly, at any rate. And those few social circles she felt welcome to shared her mindset: largely antisocial, extremely private, very laconic. But she really _did_ want to go on this road trip. For the first time in her life, Raven started to see _why_ it would be fun to spend a few hours in a cramped car with four good friends. The conditions might be less than stellar, but the company…the camaraderie…the feeling of family….

"I'm changing," she said to herself. She wondered if it would be for the better.

She was about to leave and pack when she realized something. _Damn it. I don't have a bathing suit._ Unsurprising, really; she never needed one. She knew that Starfire got one the last time Beast Boy staged a beach trip. Raven had made up some excuse to stay behind back then. Now she'd have to ask the bubbly Tamaranian to help her pick out a suit.

_Well, there are certainly worse fates than spending a few hours with the galaxy's happiest scatterbrain,_ Raven mused without humor. She willed herself to fly up to the bookshelves, intending to take another mystery novel with her on the way to the mall.

But she didn't move. Raven blinked in confusion and then tried again, lifting up a few inches and then suddenly dropping back to her feet.

"What the—?" She concentrated one more time. This time, she did fly. "That was weird," she murmured and then quickly set the matter aside. She attributed the momentary lapse in her powers to her recent recovery. _I'm just feeling a bit weak, that's all._

It didn't occur to her that this was only a prelude.


	4. Chapter Four

**Chapter Four**

"Oh, Raven," bubbled the ever-cheerful Starfire. "That looks so adorable on you!"

The dark-haired girl simply looked at the bathing suit she was wearing. It wasn't even worth the effort of making a contemptuous glare. "It has daisies on it," she drawled irritably. "Just like every other bathing suit you made me try on." She gestured to the six discarded ones on a nearby rack.

"Oo! Oo! Try this one next!"

"It has daisies."

"Then how about this one?"

"Daisies."

"This one? It is _really_ cute. I am sure everyone will like it."

"…You aren't listening to a word I'm saying, are you?" Raven stripped off the latest floral-inspired article and donned her leotard, draping her cloak over her forearm. She walked out of the fitting rooms and into the racks of bathing suits, browsing through the selection.

Starfire had already selected hers: a daring bikini…with daisies. Raven frowned at it in disapproval. It was…bright. And showed off far too much than she thought a girl should.

_Under _no_ circumstances am I wearing anything remotely like that,_ Raven vowed silently. _Besides, bikinis are for exhibitionists._ She ignored the tiny part of her that reminded her of her own leotard. Raven finally chose a demure black one-piece. The most "daring" part about it was that it had only one strap along the shoulder. _At least the price and color are right._

The two girls had just paid for their purchases when an alarm bell sounded throughout the mall. They saw a young man, no older than they, running from a pair of guards. _Those rent-a-cops won't catch him in time,_ Raven thought. _Just a simple shoplifter. Piece of cake._

She raised a hand, black energy forming around it…but then her eyes widened in shock and growing horror. The spells she knew, the spells she dedicated years to mastering—they were all gone! She couldn't force the spells to her will, couldn't summon the magic. The dark-haired girl fell to her knees, completely at a loss.

A few minutes later, Starfire shook her back to attention. "Raven! Raven!" the Tamaranian said worriedly. "I captured the shoplifter, but you just sat here like a rock. Are you all right?"

Raven shook her head, clearing it, and hastily stood up, brushing Starfire away. "I'm fine. I just…got dizzy. Look, I'll meet you back at the Manor, all right?" She hurriedly left the mall, not caring that she left her bathing suit at Starfire's feet.

* * *

Raven had to take a taxi back. She tried flying, but like yesterday, she couldn't. She tried again and again and again, hoping that her powers would return like they did before. But she couldn't manage more than a few inches…and only for a moment. Riding in the back seat of a taxi was the most crushing experience Raven had ever felt. She felt so…powerless. What was happening to her?

When she arrived at Wayne Manor, she didn't speak to anyone. The first thing she did was shut herself in her room. Raven was not one to panic, but she really wanted to then and there. So she got some chalk and a large white sheet, spread it on the floor, and drew a meditative circle. She had drawn hundreds of such diagrams when she studied at Azarath; the exercise was almost second nature to her. Or so she thought. Now she couldn't even draw the simplest patterns with any legibility.

_I haven't written runes this poorly since I was a child,_ she thought worriedly. _My God, what's happening to me?_

A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts. She was about to tell whomever it was to go away, but the door opened and Dick stepped in. Concern was clear on his face.

"Starfire told me you had a bout of weakness at the mall today," she said simply. He closed the door behind him. "Can I get you something? Water, maybe? I can call Doctor Thompson," he offered.

She shook her head and waved a hand. "No, no. I…" She stopped and sucked in a steadying breath. It didn't work. "I lied to Starfire back there. It wasn't dizziness that got me. I can't use my powers."

"What?"

"Look at that sheet. I was trying to draw a magic circle, one to aid in spellcasting and meditation. I used to be able to draw perfect circles, with perfect runes. Now it looks like an oval, and a really wobbly one at that. The runes look like chicken scratches."

"Well, maybe you're out of practice," Dick said lamely.

She turned on him, tears rimming her eyes. Her small lips trembled. Dick stepped back; he had never seen her like this before, on the edge of her nerves. When she spoke, it was difficult to understand through her sobbing. "You don't understand, Dick! I _can't use my powers!_ I tried to stop a shoplifter with a simple holding spell. And I _couldn't do it!_ I tried flying…_and I couldn't do it!_ Something's wrong with me, more than just recovering from an injury. Something is seriously wrong.

Dick didn't know what to say. So he just went up to her and took her into an embrace. He didn't know what he would have wanted if he had been in her position, but he figured a hug would be the next best thing. They sat on Raven's bed. He still held on to her. "It's okay," he whispered. "It's okay. This is probably temporary. Maybe you just need a little rest?"

Raven shook her head and buried her tearful eyes into his shirt. "…Not okay," she mumbled. "Not okay at all. What's happening to me, Dick?"

She kept on sobbing for the next two hours, and he was with her the entire time. Eventually, she fell asleep against him; recovering from a near-fatal wound and crying for so long had taken their toll on her. Dick laid her down and threw a blanket over her. Then he silently left her room.

* * *

Raven woke up to the sound of knocking on her door. She groggily looked at the block on the bedside table. Eight o' clock. The night was still young, but she felt so tired. The knocking became more insistent. She forced herself up and opened the door.

"Hey," Dick greeted.

Raven smiled, all weariness suddenly gone, as if he banished it with his presence. "Hey yourself."

Dick scratched his head and said, "Uh, I told everyone that you were really tired. I suggested that we have the road trip for when you're better. They said it was okay."

"I'm sorry."

"Not your fault," he said with an ironic smile. It had only been a few days ago when she said those same words to him. He held up a plastic bag filled with rectangular objects. "The others went out to go watch a movie. I volunteered to stick around in case you woke up. But I borrowed a few films, too. Do you want to watch?"

Raven scrubbed her eyes with the back of her hand, wiping away the sleepiness. "Sure. Come on in." She opened the door wider and let him walk in. "There's a TV and DVD over in the corner," she said. "What movies did you get, anyway?"

"Well," he began, "I didn't know what kinds you like, so I borrowed a bit of everything. Don't worry. No one will mind if we don't watch them all. Bruce's got money to burn, after all. Let's see. I got us some of the classic horror films of the forties and fifties. Some horror flicks from the eighties, too. I got the _Star Wars_ trilogy and _Blade Runner_ in here, so there's your sci-fi. A couple Hong Kong flicks. Always loved those. _The Lord of the Rings_. And a couple Disney movies." He shrugged apologetically, as if Disney were something to be ashamed of.

"I wouldn't mind a Disney movie," Raven said.

"That's surprising. I wouldn't have taken you for the talking animals and sing-a-long type of gal," Dick said.

"Like I said. Full of surprises. Actually, I've never seen one to its completion. I only saw a few parts. Singing isn't bad. Don't know if I actually like the talking animals. The drawings are nice, though."

"I happen to like the talking animals," said Dick. "How about a compromise? Here's _The Little Mermaid_. Really old chick-flick type. But it has talking animals and it has people singing."

That sounded agreeable, so they settled at the foot of Raven's bed and turned on the DVD player. Raven found the movie engaging. She normally didn't go for the sappy romance plots, but it was encouraging to see a strong female lead overcome social and—after the Sea Witch's ploy with the voice—physical setbacks to achieve her goal. Even if it was a sappy and romantic goal.

Raven sighed. She could relate to Ariel, the little mermaid. Only, she still had to figure out what to do about her powers. Just thinking about it almost drove her to tears again. It was like thinking about the stump where your arm used to be, and how you won't ever be able to use it again.

But then the movie ended and Dick had to leave. Raven said goodnight, but as soon as the door shut, she realized how alone she felt. Always she had her magic to keep her company, even when she turned away from people. Now she didn't even have that comfort. This time, in the sanctuary of her own privacy, she did cry.


	5. Chapter Five

**Chapter Five**

Dick closed the door to Raven's room, the bag of movies in his hand. He turned a corner…and bumped right into Beast Boy and Cyborg, both of whom looked every inch like the cat who caught the mouse.

"I thought you two had gone to the movies with Starfire," Robin said.

"We decided to get tacos instead," Cyborg replied. "There are some video games that need playing and a Cray mainframe Bat-computer to play them on!" Then the machine man nudged him in the ribs. "But it seems you've been having some fun yourself, huh, Rob?"

_Oh boy, here it comes._

Beast Boy grabbed the movie bag. "We heard you and Raven laughing it up all the way in the living room. So, what flicks were you two watching in the dark of the pretty lady's humble abode?" he said with a suggestive leer. The green-furred Titan dug up _The Little Mermaid_. "By my stars and garters," he said with flair, "this disc's still warm! So, it was a romantic Disney film you two were watching?"

Dick sighed. "Laugh it up, you two. Raven's had a bad day today. Hell, she's had a pretty rough week. I just wanted to cheer her up."

"And cheer yourself up at the same time too, right Romeo?" Cyborg continued to rib him. It was starting to hurt.

"Would you guys just lay off?" Dick said, growing annoyed with their antics. "Don't try this on Raven, either. She's having a hard enough time as it is. So please, just give it a rest. You two hamming up some fantasy romance between us is the last thing she needs right now."

"Chill, dude," said Cyborg, raising his hands defensively. "It was only a joke."

Dick sighed. "Sorry I snapped at you. I'm just…well…Raven's got me worried. I guess I'm just getting a bit worked up. Sorry." He turned and left.

Beast Boy harrumphed. "What's his problem?"

"Call this a wild stab," Cyborg ventured, "but I think Robin may actually _be_ in love. With Raven of all people."

"Yeah right. It was funny at the beginning, Cy. Rob's only interest is his work, you know that." The green-furred Titan was silent for a moment, and then said, "You really think those two are in for each other?"

The machine man tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Well, recently, they _have_ been spending a lot of time together."

Beast Boy suddenly smiled very, very wickedly. "You know what this means, right?"

Cyborg was smiling too. "Of course. The good kind of torment for them and the best kind of fun for us."

"I'll get the popcorn."

* * *

"I can do this…I can do this…."

Raven sat down, folded her legs under her, and closed her eyes. She could do this. In front of her was a lead ball. It weighed six pounds. She could do this. In her mind's eye, she saw it float two inches above the floor. She sucked in a steadying breath and let it out slowly through her nose. She could do this. Her mind clear, she willed the ball to obey her whim, demanded that reality bend for her and her alone.

The ball didn't move.

Raven's hands tightened into fists, clenching so hard that her nails cut into flesh. She felt hot blood flow.

"Why can't I do it?" she groaned.

_Moping here isn't helping any either,_ she told herself firmly. _Maybe I should go take a walk or something. Get my mind off things. Try and calm down. Yeah, I'll try and relax._ But she doubted that she could; uncertainty and worry had her done up in knots.

She made her way out of the Manor and onto the beaches beneath it. She didn't go to the beaches around Titan Tower too often—Beast Boy would be goofing off by the sandbars, Cyborg would be playing ball, and Starfire would be examining any "adorable" flora or fauna. They were distractions that the dark-haired girl could live without. But this wasn't the Tower and everyone was still in the manor, so the shoreline would at least be deserted.

Or so she thought. She saw Robin, once more in costume, sitting pensively on a boulder, tossing bits of driftwood or small rocks into the water.

"I guess I'm not the only one who needed to get away to think," Raven commented.

Her friend turned to look at her. "Beast Boy and Cyborg were giving me some grief," he said guardedly. Then he looked uncomfortable. "Um…yeah." He shook his head, as if clearing it. "What brings you down here? Your powers?"

She nodded.

"Still nothing?"

Raven sighed and sat down on the boulder as well. Their backs pressed against each other. Raven, who usually didn't like this kind of proximity, found it…relieving. "I think my powers are gone, Robin. Permanently."

He didn't say anything. What could he say?

Raven felt his hand grip hers, squeezing in quiet support.

"Thank you, Robin. I…I don't like admitting this, but I needed that. Thank you."

He smiled at her. "You've changed a lot in the past few weeks, Raven. I like the change. You're more open than you've ever been before, and I feel glad that you want to invite the rest of us into your life. I'm sure that we can find a way to fix your powers…all of us together."

She shook her head. "I don't know when it started or why, but I'm glad it did. But you're wrong. The only one I'm open to is you, Robin. You're the one I want to invite. You're the only one who understands. The only one who could." Suddenly, impulsively, she drew him into a tight embrace. Her fingers curled tightly into the fabric of his cape. She could feel his hands around her waist, his fingers gently stroking the curve of her back, consoling and caring. She didn't want to let go. This was someone who understood her. "Thank you," she said, almost too quietly to hear.

"Do you want to go back inside?" he asked. "It's starting to get a bit cold." He hadn't broken their embrace.

"No. I'm fine right where I am."

* * *

The Titans returned to their city the next day. Robin was in his room, unpacking a few things, when Beast Boy and Cyborg burst into his room without so much as a knock. Before the Boy Wonder could even react the invasion, the two other Titans had scooped him up and carried him to the TV set. They threw him on the couch; he landed with a _whuff_.

"What are you guys doing?" Robin demanded, rubbing a bruised rump.

"Just look at the TV," ordered Cyborg.

On the screen was a commercial for a local lottery. The winner would receive two dinner tickets to the grand opening of the city's newest restaurant, the Crème De La Crème. "Don't be taken for the fancy name, folks," the announcer admonished. "This ritzy place not only caters to the wealthy and sharp, but to the members of today's youth. The Crème combines the personality, atmosphere, and drinks menu of a the most fashionable restaurants in Europe with the trance and techno of a dance club."

"What's this?" Robin asked.

"You and Raven are going to that," Beast Boy answered. "We've already dropped in lotto tickets for you. We're sure you're going to win." At this, he nudged the machine man in the side. "That's because Cy here took certain…liberties…with the lotto tickets."

Robin sighed tiredly. He should have known these two would jump over any chance to give him a hard time. "Look, there isn't anything going on between me and Raven. So you two can stop."

"Nothing going on my tin foot," huffed Cyborg. "And what did you call your heart to heart with her last night on the beach, hmm? That was pretty touchy-feely, if you ask me."

"Notwithstanding the fact that you were spying on me, which I'm shocked that you did, Raven needed someone to talk to. That's all." Robin stood up abruptly, intending to return to his room to finish unpacking. Then he stopped to throw a look back them. He didn't know why he wanted to say it, but he did: "And for your information, what happens between me and her is none of your business."

Then he left. Beast Boy gave Cyborg a bright, wide smile. "Think he fell for it?"

His accomplice grinned back. "Oh, he's thinking about it. We just have to make sure he _keeps_ thinking about it. We'll be hearing wedding bells soon enough."

"Beast Boy and Cyborg: Matchmakers the Fun Way." Beast Boy raised a hand, and Cyborg smacked it with a loud high-five.

_

* * *

Why did you say that? Robin asked himself for the tenth time as he took his shirts out of his bag. __Why are you letting them get to you? Who cares if they know you and Raven talked last night? That isn't a crime, and it certainly isn't grounds to tell them it's none of their business._ Logic, logic, logic. None of it settled with him, though. He could rationalize everything, but he would still have said the words. Robin asked himself for the tenth time as he took his shirts out of his bag. Logic, logic, logic. None of it settled with him, though. He could rationalize everything, but he would still have said the words. 

_Shouldn't be thinking about this,_ he admonished himself. _Should be thinking about how to help Raven._ Suddenly, he had an image of her in his mind. The cape, the leotard that showed off those amazing legs…Robin shook his head. _Why are you even thinking about that?_ He knew why, of course. He wouldn't have been worthy of being Batman's partner if he didn't. It was obvious that he was thinking about Raven that way because Beast Boy and Cyborg got him to. It was a clever trick. And it worked.

_The last thing she needs is you pining off after her over some stupid infatuation that may or may not reflect your real feelings,_ Robin told himself sternly. He hoped he would listen to that little inner voice.

Then he heard some rustling by the door. Probably Beast Boy and Cyborg again. But no one entered. Instead, two slips of paper slid under the door. Robin groaned. He didn't need to pick them up to know that they were the dinner tickets. _Won't they just stop?_

But Robin picked them up and put them in his pocket. He should have thrown them out, but he kept them.

_Well, maybe I should. A night out would cheer her up. Just a friend taking a friend out to dinner, yeah._ He sounded like he was trying to convince himself. Despite his reservations, he found himself outside Raven's room five minutes later, the tickets in hand. He tried to stop himself one last time.

It didn't work. He knocked on the door.

"Hey, Raven. Um, you've been pretty down lately, so I thought you could use a change of scenery. Want to go to that new restaurant?"


	6. Chapter Six

Author's Note: First off, thanks for the reviews. Secondly:Here it is, the Date. I know from the reviews I've been getting that a lot of you have been waiting eagerly for this one. Sorry to say, but nothing terribly--I believe the word someone used was "wild"--happens in this part. It's only a first date. If you've been paying attention, you might've noticed that the pace of Robin and Raven's relationship is fairly...relaxed. As it should be. I don't buy into those "love at first sight" things. It takes time to build a relationship, so it will take a few more chapters before Robin and Raven are officially a couple. Incidentally, it'll take a few more chapters before I expressly state why Raven's losing her powers. But if you read between the lines in the last few chapters, I'm sure you'll already have figured it out on your own. And so, on with Chapter Six.

**Chapter Six**

_What the hell am I doing?_

In all the years of study and training, throughout the wild adventures and adrenaline-pumping missions, and against the adversity of combat, criminal geniuses, and fighting for that last slice of pizza, Raven had never felt so indecisive. And it was over the most inane of things.

She couldn't choose which dress to wear.

_You shouldn't be agonizing over this,_ the logical, mature part of her brain said. _You're just going out for dinner. You've done that before, just a few weeks ago, even. You, him, and the others. It was pizza night. You didn't worry then._

_That was different,_ a new part of her countered. It wasn't so much new as it was just recently brought out of hibernation. It was a part she had suppressed for so long because it was distracting. It was the part of her that agonized over choosing one dress over another. It was the part of her that was a seventeen-year-old girl.

Finally, Raven flipped a coin. It came up heads. The logical part took the fates' judgement as absolute; the new part wanted to go best out of three. The dark-haired girl, exasperated, decided to go to the only other person who could help her. Even though she _really_ didn't want to.

It took all of Raven's determination to bring herself to knock on Starfire's door. When the Tamaranian opened it, Raven shoved the two dresses into her face. "Which one?" she asked simply.

Startled, Starfire automatically said, "That one," and pointed to one at random. "What is the occasion?" But Raven didn't hear it; she was already heading back to her room.

Raven dressed quickly, so she wouldn't have time to renege on her "choice." When she was done, she took a look in the mirror and was momentarily taken aback. She didn't get the chance to dress up often, but she cleaned up well. The dress—a long black gown that once belonged to her mother—definitely hearkened back to an earlier age, and yet was still tasteful. It was conservative, with a high collar and long sleeves, and it had an intricate pattern done up from the skirt to the cuff.

"It looks wonderful, Raven," Starfire said from the doorway, having followed out of curiosity.

The dark-haired girl was too absorbed in the dress to take offense at the invasion of her privacy. "Do you think so?"

"I think it needs more," the Tamaranian said. She floated over beside her. "I have been watching programs on the television; there are a number of Earth hairstyles that would look great with that gown."

Raven pinched a lock of her hair and rolled it between her fingertips. She hadn't changed her hairstyle since she was a child. _But it's a special night,_ that new part of said, somehow sneaking past her reservations. "Starfire…um…can you…?"

The Tamaranian beamed. "I would be happy to." Taking Raven's shoulder, she gently guided the dark-haired girl into a seat. "We are the only girls here, but we never did get to know each other all that well," she rambled while she worked, "but I know you desire privacy. I am curious though, why this sudden change in attitude? You have never expressed any interest in gowns and hair. Is something happening tonight?"

"Yes." Raven admitted quietly. She looked into the mirror again. And was stunned. The girl looking back at her was beautiful. Not cute, not pretty, but beautiful. "You do good work, Starfire," she said, shaking her head and testing out the new tower that graced her head. 'That feels weird."

"I can loan you some earrings," Starfire offered. "I think I have a pair that would go well with your complexion."

"No, that's all right. I…I have something of my own. My mother's rubies."

"Oh. All right, then. So…what kind of occasion is it?"

Raven fished the ruby earrings from a dusty jewelry box in the back of one of her desk drawers. "It's a date, actually," she revealed with a blush. She started toward the door, suddenly feeling very anxious.

Starfire smiled pleasantly. "Who is the lucky young man?"

"Robin."

Raven, caught up in her own nervousness over the upcoming event, didn't hear the sound of Starfire's jaw hitting the ground.

_

* * *

What the hell am I doing?_

Dick checked himself in the mirror for the fifth time in as many minutes. He unbuttoned the top of his dress shirt, thinking that to be more casual, even though he had _just_ buttoned it all the way up no less than a minute ago.

_Think casual. This is just dinner. With a friend._ He sighed. _Who the hell am I kidding? What am I _doing

His hair was slicked back with styling gel. It looked…not Robin-ish at all.

_Blame it on Beast Boy and Cyborg. Damn it._

Dick mussed it until was back to a semblance of his normal hairstyle. _Casual._ He took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. It was supposed to be steadying. But it rattled in his nervousness.

Of course, he knew why he was agonizing over this. _This isn't a date,_ he told himself. _I'm just taking Raven out for dinner. To make her feel better. She's been upset for the past few days; this'll be good for her. That's all. Not a date at all._

He threw on a sports-coat and went out into the hall, looking for Raven. When he found her, his jaw sagged. _Hoo boy. It's a date._

"Hey Raven…You, um, look different." He wanted to kick himself. _Real smooth, Boy Wonder._ He hastily amended to something more flattering. "You look great. I like the earrings."

She smiled that small smile of hers, full of wry amusement. Though her appearance had changed—_Into this beautiful, stunning, drop-dead gorgeous woman…stop thinking like that, Dick!_—her humor hadn't. That made him feel a little more comfortable about this…thing. _Just say it, Dick. It's a date._

"You look…different, too," Raven commented, and Dick couldn't tell if she were ribbing him or not.

"So, ready to go?

"Yes."

They arrived at the Crème De La Crème early enough to find parking and to avoid getting caught in the line. Dick thought that was a good sign. "Reservations for two, under 'Grayson,'" he said to the maitre'd, who summoned a waiter to bring them to a table. Beast Boy and Cyborg managed to get good tickets for them: their table was on the balcony overlooking the beaches. It was a warm night, so the breeze over the water felt good. A band played on a balcony stage. Dick recognized the tune, though he couldn't remember the name. Batman played it a few times during the social parties at Wayne Manor.

"This place is nice," Raven said, brushing back a stray lock of hair into place. She frowned. "This hair tower thing feels weird."

"But it looks nice," Dick said appreciatively.

She smiled. "Thanks. Starfire did it. This is place is nice," she said again. "Different from the places we usually hang out at."

"Those places were usually with the others," he pointed out.

"Not to sound disparaging, but I'm glad they're not here right now." She played with a lily in a vase on the table. "They'd have done something childish, I'm sure. It's nice just being in some mature company for once."

"I'm flattered that you think so highly of me."

"As I recall, _you're_ the one who thought highly of _me_. Remember the mad bomber case a while ago?" Raven pulled her hands into her lap, suddenly feeling very self-conscious. She could feel the heat rise in her belly, blossom in all its demure redness on her cheeks. "You said you wanted me to help you because I was intelligent and mature. That…that meant a lot to me, Robin…Dick. I…not very many people say that to me. So thanks."

Dick smiled. "Hey, it wasn't a big deal. You're a smart girl. Woman. I was only stating the obvious. Maybe not enough people take the time to look for the obvious things, that's all."

"Still, I was very flattered."

Then the waiter came and took their orders. When they were alone again, Dick asked, "So, how are you feeling?" He lent emphasis to his words, giving them a deeper meaning for her. She picked up on it immediately.

"My powers still haven't come back." Strangely, she didn't feel as upset about it as before. Being the self-aware person that she was, she knew it was because she was with Dick. The notion didn't bother her as much anymore.

"I haven't been able to think up any way to help just yet," Dick said apologetically, "but I promise I'll help in any way I can, Raven. We'll get you through this—" She cut him off, pressing a slender finger to his lips.

"I'm sure we will," she said in all seriousness. "I'm sure because you're with me. Dick, let me tell you something. For a long time, as long as you've known me, I've only ever relied upon myself. I keep myself locked up, withdrawn, because I don't want to depend on anyone else's strength. But lately, I've come to realize that I was just afraid of opening up. But now I'm not afraid. You may be the first real friend I've ever had, and for that I thank you. Having someone like you with me…I can't begin to express what that means to me. I'm not afraid of relying on your strength, Dick. I'm not afraid of putting my pride on a shelf for once and just asking for help. And that's all thanks to you. And because of that, I'm not afraid of losing my powers. Because I know that you'll be right there, as supportive as ever."

Her impassioned speech stunned Dick to silence. It took him a few moments to really absorb what she had said. Finally, he simply said, "You're welcome. It's what friends are for."

"Right," she agreed. "That's what friends are for. Wow, these guys are quick; our food's already here."

Raven stabbed her side of green thoughtfully for a few moments. "You know, I'm surprised how well this night's been going."

"What do you mean?" Dick popped a bit of food into his mouth.

"I've never been a date before. I'm just surprised how relaxed it is."

Dick almost choked on the morsel in his mouth. Raven looked at him in concern. He drank a bit of water and coughed to clear his throat. Then, "So…you think this is a date."

"Yes, isn't it?"

Suddenly, Dick burst out laughing. "I've been second-guessing myself ever since I asked you out. 'This isn't a date,' I kept telling myself, even though I wanted it to be. Sorry, I guess it's just funny to me."

But Raven was smiling. And it was a very big smile. It lit up her whole face. "Actually, I've been worried about it myself. I just assumed it was a date for the get-go. It's been riding hell on my back all night." She chuckled.

"Worrying over nothing," Dick said, summarizing their predicament. "I swear, I was sweating bullets tonight. So…you're first date, huh? I take it you're enjoying it."

"It's more fun than I ever thought it could be. You do this sort of thing often?"

"Not really. When I was working with Batman, I dated Barbara Gordon—Batgirl—for a little while. I had to move out here, and a long-distance relationship didn't really appeal to either of us. We're friends now."

"I see. So no one's waiting for you back home?" _Why am I asking about this?_ Raven asked herself. _And why would I care?_ But she already knew why. She just didn't want to admit it. Batgirl was the Other Woman. And it bothered her.

Dick shook his head. "Robin might have a few fans. I mean, I _did_ swing around the skylines for years in those ridiculous shorts," he gave her a glare, reminding her of the torment she put him through earlier, "and I guess some girls like that sort of sight."

"I know the mental image keeps me happy," Raven quipped lightly. Dick's glare didn't falter. But Raven felt relieved. "So, no one's got a line on you. Interesting."

"Interesting that I'm unattached? Why?" He looked at her mischievously. "Would you be jealous if I was?"

"Now your ego's swelling," Raven said. She wished he hadn't been so quick on the uptake. _But then again, he's a detective. He'd have seen it a million miles away._

The band started playing a slow song. Some of the other patrons got up to dance on the cleared space in front of the stage.

"Want to go?" Dick asked, standing and offering a hand.

Raven smiled as she lay her small hand in his. "I'd love to."

_Walking on thin ice here, Boy Wonder,_ Dick thought wildly as they swayed to the steady tempo. Batman had taught him a lot of things: detective work, martial arts, stealth, mechanics…but never dancing. When he was dating Barbara, she was surprised that a former trapeze artist had such a bad case of left feet. _So why am I doing this?_ He knew why, of course. The reason was in his arms right now.

He tried—he really did—to think of her as a friend, date or no date. But she was close to him, physically close. There was a warmth emanating from her skin, a scent from her hair. He could feel the smoothness of her dress under his hands. And—and this made the heat rise in his cheeks—he could feel _her_ underneath the dress. Every curve and contour.

He swallowed hard. _Calm down, Dick. Just calm down. It's only Raven._ But that's precisely why he was panicking. Because it was Raven.

"I'm glad we're doing this," Raven said suddenly, almost too quietly for him to hear. "I don't think I'd ever have gotten the chance to dance if you hadn't asked. It's…a learning experience."

"Is that all?" He felt a little hurt. A part of him hoped she was enjoying the dance because of him.

But Raven looked him in the eyes, and her gaze was very guarded. Though she admitted to being unafraid of opening up, she still had a few walls around her. "No," she answered simply. "But I don't want to say the real reason why I like being out here."

He chuckled. "I can relate to that."

Then the song ended. The couples parted. Dick and Raven parted. He saw the pinkish hue of her cheeks. After a few moments, the band began a slow intro. And then a riff of an electric guitar cut the air, followed by the steady beat of a drum. The band began to play, accompanying a younger group of rock musicians who had stepped onto the stage.

"They're good," Raven commented.

"Yeah," Dick agreed. "It's not often that you get to see a good merging of rock and classical. Kind of reminds me of what they did on Symphony and Metallica a few years ago."

"I was thinking the same thing." She touched his shoulder with an eager gleam. "So, want to try dancing to this one, Boy Wonder?"


	7. Chapter Seven

**Chapter Seven**

Robin and Raven didn't talk about their date to anyone, even though everyone in Titan Tower knew about it. Strangely, no one else talked about it either. Maybe the others saw the wisdom in keeping their mouths shut about the matter, but Raven figured that Robin had a little "talk" with Beast Boy and Cyborg.

_He _would_ do something like that,_ she mused. _He knows I'd hate being the center of gossip. Always so discrete, that Boy Wonder,_ she thought fondly with a mischievous grin.

The next day, Robin got a call from Wayne Manor. Batman needed him to help with a case involving Blockbuster, a villain who held a particular dislike for him.

"I'll be out of town for a few days," he was telling the gathered Titans in the living room. "Things are pretty quiet down here right now, so I doubt I'll be missed."

"That's open to debate," Beast Boy quipped snidely, throwing Raven a look. She blushed under that knowing smirk. She wanted to smack him.

"Ahem," Robin interrupted, hiding his own discomfiture beneath his mask. "Anyway, Raven will be in charge for the next few days."

"Surprise, surprise," Cyborg commented with that same knowing grin. He immediately joined Beast Boy on Raven's list of future punching bags.

Robin ignored him. "That's really all I have to say. The Batmobile's already out back, so I'll just say goodbye now. Raven, could I have a word with you before I go?"

Followed by the snickering of the other Titans, Robin led Raven into the hallway.

"Why me?" she asked him simply.

He shrugged. "More mature. Smart. We went over that already," he answered.

She nodded accepting the logic. "So, what is it you wanted to talk to me about?"

"When I'm in Gotham, I'll ask around about treatments for you. For fixing your magic. Maybe the Justice League knows something about what you're going through. They had a magician named Zatanna on their roster once, you know."

"You don't need to do that," Raven protested. "I've felt a lot better since our…you know."

He smiled. "Yeah, I know. But still, I want to help in any way I can."

"You've already done more for me than you know." She hugged him tightly. He was the only person she felt comfortable enough with to do that. "You be careful when you go back."

"Hey, it's just Blockbuster," he said cavalierly. "I'll be back before you have time to miss me."

She tightened her embrace, so that she could whisper into his ear, "I already do." She released him and said, "Get going, Boy Wonder, or the Batman will give you an earful."

* * *

Finding Blockbuster was easy. The huge villain wasn't the brightest man on the planet. But he did know how to hook up with the ones who were. The Joker had hired the enormous thug as protection while he set up "happy gas" bombs throughout Gotham—they would release cyanide throughout three-quarters of the city in less than an hour. The deadly bombs were supposed to go off at midnight. They didn't.

While Batman disabled the bombs, Robin hunted down the villains. Then he had to beat them down. _That_ had been the hard part.

Somehow, whether it was from the experience of fighting Slade or just plain old-fashioned luck, Robin managed to put down both Blockbuster and the Joker without Batman's help. He didn't gain victory unscathed, however. His left arm dangled loosely at his side, dislocated and mangled. He broke two ribs and cracked his clavicle. That didn't include the numerous cuts and bruises from the punches, kicks, and blunt trauma the villains inflicted on him.

But considering the odds, Robin got off easy.

After the criminals had been sent off to Arkham, the Dynamic Duo returned to the Batcave.

"These bruises aren't going to make your girlfriend too happy," Batman said sarcastically as he applied a salve to the cuts on Robin's face.

Robin sat up straight, a wild and confused look in his eyes. "Girlfriend?"

"I'm talking about Raven."

_God, isn't there anything he _doesn't_ know?_ Robin thought. "She isn't my girlfriend. She's just a friend."

Batman's face was impossible to read behind the mask and stony visage. But it was clear that he didn't believe a word of it. "Don't let this new relationship interfere with your work," he said simply. He started wrapping Robin's shoulder and ribs.

"It's not interfering with anything," Robin insisted.

"As soon as you got here, you spent an hour on the phone with Zatanna and her friend, John Constantine," Batman reminded him, his tone slightly accusing. He made a splint around Robin's ankle.

"I thought we respected each other's privacy in this house," Robin shot back, miffed. "I didn't know you tap your wards' phone lines."

"You don't technically live here anymore. And I don't think you're looking at this in the right perspective. You haven't been in a relationship since Batgirl. Right now, you're helping Raven with whatever problem she has because she's your friend. But that's only a justification. You're not being honest with yourself. And that could lead to problems in your ability to operate as a detective."

"I don't think I need to hear this from you. Remember Catwoman? Or Talia? Some expert on relationships you are."

"I'm an expert on what happens when you get distracted, Robin. If you don't start being honest—with yourself and with her—there's eventually going to be problems. And those problems will take up your thoughts, making you less effective in your work."

Batman finished his ministrations. "The shoulder shouldn't give you too much trouble, and the ribs can be tolerated. You should take a few days off while your clavicle heals." The Dark Knight strode deeper into the Cave, leaving his partner alone.

"Thanks," Robin said distractedly, thinking about his mentor's words. "Honest with myself. And her. Easier said than done when I don't even know how I feel about her." He shook his head. "What I saying? She's a friend. She doesn't want—or need—anything more than that. That settles it, doesn't it? Damn it, I'm talking to myself like some kind of idiot."

Robin spent the next few days in shiftless relaxation. Or tried to. Frankly, he couldn't relax because he was still thinking about what Batman had said. How could he, Robin, be honest about something full of ambiguity?

_I'm probably worrying over nothing,_ he thought. _She never said she wanted anything more out of this…I guess you can call it a relationship…she never said she wanted it to go further than this. I'm probably only feeling this way because of Beast Boy, Cyborg, and now Batman. They're all filling my head with stuff I don't need. I don't need to think about her like that. Not at all. Not those eyes, that mouth…those legs. Damn it! Stop it, Dick._

"You seem very pensive, Master Richard," came Alfred's prim British brogue. The butler had arrived with a tray in hand, carrying a drink and a sandwich. Robin had been so caught up in thought that he completely missed hearing Alfred's footsteps.

"I have a lot on my mind," Robin said. "What's with the food?"

"I thought Young Master might like a little refreshment while you while the day in thought." Alfred set the tray down on a nearby stand. "Are you working on another case?"

Robin sighed. "I guess you could say that. And I'm the mystery."

"I don't believe I follow."

"Um, there's…this girl…."

"Oh, dear. I do say that I've heard _this_ one many a time in my life, and I am quite an expert in this field. One merely has to be honest with oneself and with the other in question."

Robin threw the butler a tired glare. "You could at _least_ let me finish," he said. "And don't try to sound so much like Bruce."

"It is sound advice," said the butler defensively.

"But the problem is, I don't know how I feel." Robin scratched at his head in frustration. "See, I like her—a lot. She likes me, I think. But I don't know if we like-like each other or if its just a like-you-as-a-friend thing."

"My word, that is quite the predicament, Master Richard."

"Don't be snide."

"If I may, Young Master—did the young lady in question ever say that she _wasn't_ interested in a deeper relationship?"

"No. Not directly. Well, not indirectly, either."

"So did it occur to you that she might be waiting for _you_ to speak up first?"

Robin stood up so fast it threatened to aggravate his injuries. He clapped the butler on the shoulder and exclaimed, "Alfred, you're brilliant!" With that, Robin hobbled back into the Manor.

Alfred dusted off the offended shoulder and said with wry humor, "I should dare say so. The younger generation never seems to listen to the wisdom of their elders."


	8. Chapter Eight

**Chapter Eight**

The days after Robin left passed by idyllically enough. For the most part, the city's underworld kept its many ugly heads out of sight, leaving the Titans with plenty of free time. Raven spent it catching up on her reading and meditations.

However, try as she might, she simply couldn't concentrate on the book she was reading. Her meditations were frequently broken by extemporaneous thoughts…thoughts of Robin. She tried not to think about him too much and failed miserably. Even though he was gone, she kept on finding something that reminded her of him. And made her worry about his safety.

The Gotham newscast on TV didn't make her feel any better: "Eyewitnesses report seeing the Boy Wonder fighting against Blockbuster and the madman known as the Joker. He was apparently alone, without the help of Batman, his longtime partner. This would be Robin's first appearance in Gotham since…."

Raven tried not to think about Robin after that. Thinking about him invariably meant thinking about how he was doing in a city full of criminals.

_If I just sit here, I'm going to explode with worry._ She found that thought…odd. She was sitting in her room, the one place in all the world that made her feel safe. It was her sanctuary. And now it didn't feel welcoming at all. It was stifling, in fact. Raven resolved to get some fresh air.

Since she couldn't fly, she walked. She didn't have a particular destination in mind, so she just picked a direction and started moving. The simple act of walking did plenty to steady her nerves and, once she started to look around and pay attention to what was going on around her, she found it easier to think about things other than Robin.

Raven had never really noticed how peaceful the city really was. Her routine used to be fighting criminals terrorizing the neighborhood and then retiring to her room. Thus, she never noticed how many children lived and commuted near Titan Tower. There must have been a grade school nearby, or a neighborhood of young families. The children yelled and whooped and giggled. Raven couldn't remember the last time she ran around that carefree.

Suddenly, Raven found herself at the center of attention. "Hey! Hey!" one of the children, a fat little boy, exclaimed, pointed a stubby finger at her. He shouted to his friends, "It's one of them! One of the Titans! You guys are so cool!"

The next thing Raven knew, there were a dozen boys and girls half her size gathered around her. It was suffocating. Normally, she would have found the unrestrained gazes, the constant pointing, and the loud voices distracting at best and infuriating at worst. But now she felt…content. These children were what she was trying to protect. What Robin was trying to protect. What the Teen Titans were trying to protect. Now that she thought about it, she had never met a group of people who appreciated their work; she never bothered to look around.

After that little encounter, Raven's spirits were considerably higher, and she continued on her way. Some time later, she came across a lakeside park. She had never been there before, but she knew that young couples liked to visit the lake and rent a boat. Apparently, a boat ride was considered a romantic enterprise.

Raven saw joggers, cyclists along nearby bike paths, and families out on a picnic. And, of course, she saw the lovers lying on the grass together, paddling in their little boats. When she looked at them, Raven felt a twinge of…something.

_I can't say it,_ she thought gloomily. _I trust him. I know I can rely on him. But dare I trust and rely on him that far?_

_Does he even feel the same way? He's dedicated to his work—going back to Gotham proves that. And he puts himself on the line every day. For the innocent and weak, for Batman and the other heroes, for me and the Titans. Can it work? Can we _make_ it work?_

I don't want to make him feel like he has to answer. I don't want to force him. If I say it…then I want him to answer because he wants to. If he says no…what would I do then, I wonder? This territory we're walking into…this unexplored frontier…I'm afraid of it. Not of him or of what we have, but of what we could have. 

Hell, I don't even know if I'm actually feeling this. This could be just an infatuation. It wouldn't be right, forcing him to answer me, if I'm not really…really…. It would be wrong. To him, to me. I have to be sure first.

Raven watched as a girl her age snuggled into the embrace of a boy. They seemed so happy. _We could be that way. If I said it. If he says yes. If I really do feel that way._

She looked over to the families picnicking. The children laughed as they played, and the parents watched on dotingly. They looked so relaxed, so happy. _Is this something I want? Would he want it?_

Raven spent a few more moments watching the lake and its patronage, romantic and otherwise. Then she noticed that someone was looking at her. A pensive-looking young man, a college youth with a pot belly and a grungy countenance, was sitting at the base of a tree, a sketchbook resting against his knees and a charcoal pencil in hand. He was drawing her.

"What do you think you're doing?" she asked him tartly, feeling uncomfortable with being used as a model.

"Sorry," the young man replied, setting down his tools. "You just looked so thoughtful. I wanted to capture it. My apologies. I should have asked." He stood and extended his hand. "Let me try that again. I'm Adrian. May I draw you?"

Raven looked at the proffered hand and then took it. "I'm Raven. And I guess you can draw me. What's it for?"

"No reason in particular. I'm just a hobbyist when it comes to art. No formal training. I'm not very good." He gamely showed her his sketches. Raven wrinkled her nose.

"You really aren't very good," she agreed.

Adrian laughed heartily, setting his belly quivering. He looked jolly, in a portly sort of way. "I'm actually a biology student. I guess I'm just to science-based to do well at drawing. Still, I try."

"So try," she offered.

"Thanks." Adrian sat back down and resumed his sketching. After a while, he tried to start a conversation. "You know, I've been coming down here every day for the past few months. It's relaxing. I've gotten to know a lot of the folks who come down here regularly. But I've never seen you around here before."

"I…never really wanted to come down here until today."

"Why not?"

Raven shrugged. "No reason. I guess I was too blind to all the stuff outside my room."

"Ah. I know how that feels. I used to be something of a recluse back in grade school," said Adrian. "Grade-schoolers are the worst when it comes to picking on fat kids. I never wanted to leave my room."

"So what brought you out of it?" Raven asked.

He shrugged. "A good friend of mine did, actually. First, I hung out with just him a lot. But eventually, I started hanging out with other people. Most people think it isn't a big deal to go out and meet new people, but then again, they didn't spend half their lives cooped up in their room because they didn't want to be made fun of. For me, talking to people is a challenge. And when it works out, it's a great reward."

"I can empathize with that," Raven admitted quietly. "A friend…a very good friend…helped me out. He showed me that being in the dark isn't as safe and comfortable as I thought it was."

"A good feeling, isn't it? Stepping out, I mean."

She smiled. "Yes. It's a very good feeling."

Adrian closed his sketchbook and stood up. "So let me guess," he drawled, walking around her in circles. "I'll bet you're out here trying to figure out if you want to take your relationship with this 'good friend' one step further. Or maybe you're second-guessing yourself and wondering if everything you're feeling is just hormones, infatuation, or a thrill-of-the-moment. Am I right?"

"It seems everyone I know is a detective," she commented wryly.

"Not at all," Adrian protested. "I just noticed you kept on looking at those couples on the lake and the families on the grass. It doesn't take a genius to figure out what you were thinking. So, if you don't mind my asking, when are you going to sit down with the lucky fellow and talk it over?"

Raven sighed. "I don't think I will. I don't know if he wants a relationship like that. His work…it takes up a lot of his time. And a lot of his life. I don't know if there's room for me."

It was Adrian's turn to sigh. But it was an exasperated sigh. "Listen to me, Raven. I'm a few years older than you. I've been around, met some girls I liked, but I never once tried to tell them how I felt. Sure, those 'feelings' we're probably just infatuations—all passion and no substance—but I didn't even ask them out on a date. And dates are where you figure out if that girl or boy is really your One and Only. Me, I never got the chance to find out because I let the chances slip right by.

"Now, I'm still young, so I still have a lot of chances left. But you know what? You'll be cursing every opportunity you pass up, even if you have a million more later on. It's the way the human heart is, Raven. So you know I suggest? You tell your man how you feel. Just that. No strings attached. Just say it. And say what you _really_ feel—that you think you want to be with him, but you're still unsure if those are your real feelings. You don't have anything to lose. And who knows? You might get something out of it."

Adrian packed up his tools and started walking. "Well, I'll be seeing you, Raven. Thanks for letting me draw you." And then he was gone, leaving Raven to mull over his words.

And then she smiled.

She returned to Titan Tower in good spirits. A smile lit her face, pure and genuine.

When she looked into the mirror above her vanity, Raven liked what she saw. She liked the changes coming over her.

_When did this change start? _she wondered briefly. The answer immediately came to mind. _Robin. I have one more thing to thank you for, now._

She sighed in contentment. A void in her heart, one that had left her dark and gloomy for so very long, was suddenly filled. And it was thanks to him. To Dick Grayson. Her Dick Grayson.

_When did he become 'my Dick Grayson? she thought, a blush staining her cheeks a pretty shade of pink. I don't even know if I want him to be mine._ Raven sighed, feeling torn. _I have to talk to him about it, at least._

_Yes,_ she affirmed silently. _I'll do it. I'll talk to him. That'll be good enough, for now._


	9. Chapter Nine

Author's Note: Here it is. "The Talk." It's a short chapter, mainly because the action is so brief. I _know_ all of you have been waiting for this part.

**Chapter Nine**

Raven was still confused about her feelings for Robin, but she was determined to resolve them. _There's no harm in just talking about it,_ she told herself firmly. _At worst, I'll just be mortified for the rest of my life_, she added glumly. But she would talk to him. She had to. She would go mad with indecision otherwise.

When she heard that Robin would be returning that evening, she was both elated…and apprehensive. She was pacing back and forth at the entrance to Titan Tower, wringing her hands in nervousness. She had never felt so anxious before. The Batmobile rolled right up and Robin stepped out. He shared a few sarcastic words with Batman before taking his leave. He waved at her, a crooked smile on his face; she returned the gesture.

When the Batmobile rolled off, Robin approached her. "What was that all about?" Raven asked him, pointing at the retreating Batmobile.

He looked disgusted. "He had some…things to say about you. And me." Raven's head went up at the implications. Robin couldn't look her directly in the eye when he said, "We need to talk."

"I wanted to talk too," she admitted.

"Then we'd better start talking."

They stood there, not moving. Raven coughed. "Um…we'd better do it somewhere private," she suggested. "There's the park…the one with the lake. It's getting late, so no one should be there."

Robin cocked an eyebrow at the suggested location. "That's where couples go for dates," he said flatly.

Raven's eyes were guarded. She was thankful that the darkening sky hid the redness of her face. "Yes. It is." It took a lot out of her to force out the affirmation.

"Sounds good," Robin said. He gestured. "Shall we?"

* * *

The park was indeed empty when they arrived. But neither could appreciate the crystalline beauty of the lake as the moonlight danced upon its waters. They were too anxious. Raven stood there, by the lakeshore, trying to dig the toe of a boot into the dirt. Robin stood there, coughing occasionally, bouncing on the balls of his feet. Neither said anything.

Finally, they said simultaneously, "I just wanted to say—" They stopped. Then they tried again, once more speaking at the same time, "You first—" They shared a nervous laugh.

"You go first," Raven offered.

"All right." He absently kicked a rock into the lake while he collected his thoughts. "Raven, over the past few weeks…we've…gotten pretty close haven't we?"

"Yes," she agreed with a nod. "We have."

He turned away from her and looked out over the lake. "In that short span of time, I got to know you. I'd like to get to know you even better." He said the last in a rush. Then he took a deep breath to calm himself down and continued, "I know that this thing we have…this friendship…relationship…has only been going on for a little while, and we've only been on one date…but I want it to be more."

He shrugged, as if confused. "The thing is, I don't know if my feelings are my true feelings. But I want to know. So, if it's all right with you…can it be more?" He looked at her and was shocked at what he saw.

Raven's eyes shone with tears of happiness.

"Robin," she murmured. "I can't believe this. I've been agonizing over the exact same thing this whole time. I want to know if what I'm feeling is real, too." She extended her hand to him. "And I want to find out with you there with me."

He smiled as he took her small hand in his. Then, driven by impulse and the passion of the moment, he pulled her into an embrace.

Raven sighed and let the walls around her heart—all of the walls—fall away. _It's all right,_ she knew. _I can let them down for him. There's no reason to hide myself from him anymore._ She gripped his back with desperate fingers. She felt his hands encircle her waist insistently. _No, there's no need anymore. Not with him. Not with this feeling, this happiness._

"Raven?" She heard him whisper her name into her ear. His breath tickled. It was a good feeling.

"Yes?" she breathed into his chest. He smelled earthy. He carried the scent of the Batcave with him. She liked it.

"May I kiss you?"

When she grinned into his chest, she wondered if he could feel it.

In answer, she tilted her head up and let her hair fall from her face.

When his lips touched hers, she abandoned those emotional barriers that had long been her sanctuary. She didn't miss them at all.

Author's Note: Well, there you have it. Robin and Raven are officially a couple. But it isn't over yet. Remember Raven's lost powers? There was a reason for that. Please look forward to the next installment, when I finally reveal why Raven lost her magic.


	10. Chapter Ten

**Chapter Ten**

Needless to say, Robin and Raven spent more time together after their meeting on the lake. And they enjoyed the time they shared.

Now they lay on the couch in the living room. She was on her side, watching a broadcast on TV that she wasn't really paying attention to. Her attention was on Robin, who was lying beside her and playing with the fabric of her leotard. She felt him kiss her ribs tenderly.

"You know that the others are going to have a field day when they find out about us," she told him, reaching over to muss his hair playfully. He retaliated by tickling her. She laughed and rolled over to face him. More seriously, she said, "I don't want them to talk about us, Dick. It'd be weird." She had grown quiet comfortable using his real name.

"I don't see why they can't," he said, running a finger along the line of her jaw. "So they find out about us and talk about us. So what? I don't care if they do." He leaned in to kiss her.

Raven was reluctant to end it. "You know they'll give us a hard time," she protested.

"Let them. It doesn't matter. In fact, I'll show you a way to ignore them." And he leaned in again.

"I like your methods of persuasion," she said in her best sultry voice. "But I think I'll need a bit longer before I'm convinced." She pulled him into a deeper kiss.

When they parted, she pushed him away lightly and said, "Get going, you." She tapped him on the nose and then ran her fingernail against his mask. "You're on patrol tonight, remember?"

"I'd rather be here."

"I'd rather you be here, too. But you have a responsibility, Boy Wonder. Now get that cute butt of yours moving before someone comes in here and ruins the moment."

"As you command," he quipped, getting up with a flourish of his cape. Raven giggled at his theatrics.

When he left, she took a look around the room. _So…empty,_ she noted. _Didn't know being attached would make me miss him all the time. I mean, he's just going to be out for a few hours. Still, I can't help but miss him._

Raven decided to while the early hours of the evening in study. Normally, she'd perform a few mental exercises, just to keep her powers at their peak. Since she couldn't use her magic, she found that her free time was better spent on perfecting other fields of expertise.

_Funny,_ she thought, _how cavalierly I think that—"can't use my magic." Like it doesn't matter anymore. Then again, magic has been my only happiness for a long time. Now I have Dick, whatever he may be to me—or whatever he could become to me._

_I should be worried. My magic is what makes me a Teen Titan. I need to get it back. But it can wait. There's been no trouble in the city for weeks. And I like the quiet. It gives me time to spend with Dick. And Dick did say he was trying to find a way to cure me. I trust that he will; he isn't the type who ever accepts failure. Yes, he'll find a way. I'm sure of it._

Her thoughts were interrupted when she ran into Beast Boy, who was on his way into the kitchen to make dinner. "Well, well," he greeted with a knowing smirk. "So I catch half of the Twitterpating Twosome."

Raven wanted to glare daggers at him—anything to keep him from saying anything about her and Robin. "Twitterpating?" she repeated. "I didn't know you were watching _Bambi_. Then again, you're at about the right mental capacity."

"Low blow, Rave," the green-furred Titan said. "I'm just teasing you."

"I don't have a target on my back," she said in all seriousness, "so I don't appreciate taking shots."

"Okay, okay. Jeez! I thought you'd lighten up now that you and Robin are an item." Beast Boy then dropped the carousing attitude and said, "But seriously, Raven, I'm happy for you guys. You got something real precious going here. Best of luck to you both."

Raven was momentarily taken aback by his bout of sensitivity. "I…thanks, Beast Boy. I appreciate that. I'm sure Dick would, too."

"Dick?"

"It's his real name. Dick. Richard."

Beast Boy scratched his head. "I didn't even know he had one," he said, reverting back to his joking personality. Raven just shook her head and continued on her way.

Once Raven reached her room, she shut the door behind her and took a look around. She hadn't spent much time in it over the past few days. She was always doing stuff with Robin. They visited the lake a few times, went on a picnic, and even went to the beach once.

_Dick enjoyed that a lot,_ she thought with amusement, recalling the demure bathing suit she wore—the one she bought weeks ago with Starfire. _"Not much skin, but hints at a lot," he said. What a goof. He wouldn't stop ribbing me about it, either. Not that he has any room to talk, what with that costume hanging in the Batcave. "Pixie Boots," heh._

Raven smiled at the memories she was making with Robin. Thus, she seemed more than a bit distracted as she perused her library for something to read. She came across _A Study in Scarlet_. "Sherlock Holmes," she murmured with a frown. The day she read one of Bruce Wayne's copies of Arthur Conan Doyle was the day her powers started waning. "I don't need to worry about it," she told herself firmly. _Everything's been okay so far. Better than okay. I can figure out what to do about my magic later._

She took _A Study in Scarlet_ and flopped onto her bed, cracking open the cover and delving into Doyle's writing. She must have read until she fell asleep, because she woke up to a large form slipping into bed beside her. She woke up groggily, but smiled when she felt warm arms around her.

"Good evening, Dick," she greeted.

"Good _morning_, Sleeping Beauty," he corrected.

"Then isn't this the time Prince Charming is supposed to wake me up with a kiss?" When they broke for air, Robin was looking at her with a worried expression. "What's wrong?" she asked him.

"While I was on patrol, I asked a few people in the know about what to do about your powers," he answered. "But I noticed that you haven't been too concerned about it."

She reached down to rub his thigh comfortingly. "That's because you're filling in the void that used to be my magic. And I'm not going to be concerned because I know you're doing your best to help me. I'm sure you'll find out something. You always do." She kissed him on the cheek. "My greatest detective. Am I right?"

He grinned. "Always." Then he extricated himself from her embrace and slid off the bed. "You're tired. I'm tired. I'm going to go to sleep."

Raven smiled suggestively and walked her fingers up his leg. "You can sleep here if you want." She almost laughed aloud at how fast the redness took to his face. He almost matched his vest. "Oh, go take a cold shower, _Dick_," she said, emphasizing his name with a lewd, catlike grin.

When he left, Raven went to bed with the grin still on her face.

* * *

_A cold shower. It helps._ Robin scrubbed himself down. He did need it, sweaty as he was from the evening's patrol. But Raven's parting comment had a great deal to do with it, too.

He toweled off and threw on his costume. Though he really did want to hit the sack, he had to write up a report on the patrol. _First rule of being a detective,_ Batman had told him countless times, _always have good organization skills._ So Robin went into the living room to write up the tedious report on the computer. He found Cyborg teaching Starfire how to play a video game.

"Hey there, Casanova," Cyborg said, grinning wildly. "Walking around alone? What's the deal there—you get put in the dog house or something?"

"Nah. She went to bed already. I just need to finish this up here and I'll be catching forty winks myself." After the talk at the lake, Robin found it easier to deal with the good-natured teasing of his friends when they brought up his relationship with Raven. _It's because we finally admitted to each other that we want something more out of our friendship,_ he knew. _Funny how everything just works out._

"I'm very happy for you both," Starfire said with infinite cheer. "I must now recite the verses of Anlat Helsakari for the blessing of the gods upon your relationship—all six hundred and forty-three of them!"

Robin blanched. "Um, there's no need to do that, Starfire. Raven and I are just fine. The thought's appreciated, though." He walked over to the computer. "Look, I really need to get this done. So I'm just going to do it and take off, okay?"

"Do what you got to do, Casanova," Cyborg said.

"Uh-huh." Robin went to work with a yawn.

He was halfway through the report when the crime alarm started blaring. "God damn it," he said through gritted teeth. He was really looking forward to some sleep. "Who the hell would want to attack at three in the morning?" His fingers danced across the keyboard, bringing up a visual of the felon.

"Cinderblock," Robin groaned tiredly. "Cyborg, go wake up Beast Boy and Raven. I'll get the vehicles prepped."

"Shouldn't you be the one waking her up?" the machine man quipped. Robin ignored him and walked to the garage.

He just finished revving up Cyborg's car and two motorcycles when the others came in. "You know the drill, team," he said simply. To Raven, he said, "Raven, since you don't have any powers right now, you'll be on bystander duty. Don't let the fight get to them."

"Understood," she said, quickly falling into her role. She mounted one of the cycles and slipped on a helmet. Robin got on his own bike while the others piled into the car, and then the Teen Titans were off.

Fighting Cinderblock wasn't a challenge. He was just going on a random rampage after breaking out of prison. Luckily, the streets were only lightly populated: just a few night guards, police patrols, and bums were anywhere near the fighting.

Raven stayed on the sidelines, ready to push any bystanders out of the way if the fight got to close to them. But for the most part, she simply stood there, doing nothing. She never realized how…useless…she was without her magic. Don't _think like that,_ she admonished herself. _You're not useless._

When Cinderblock was beaten and the Titans returned home, Raven was sagging into the saddle of her bike, her expression glum. Robin noticed and went over to her. "Something wrong?" he asked gently.

"It's nothing," she said without much conviction. She didn't want to worry him, but it didn't work.

"It's your powers, isn't it?" He squeezed her shoulder and then encircled her in his arms. "We'll get your magic back," he promised.

"Do you think I'm useless?" she murmured quietly into his chest.

"Not at all," he said.

"You're lying," she replied sadly. "You're too much a leader, too much a strategist not to think otherwise."

He looked guilty; he had thought that she was useless. It hurt her, even though she expected it. It hurt a lot. He must have seen the pain on her face, because he said, "Raven…what I think about this doesn't matter, understand? You're going to get better and then you'll be back out there, fighting the good fight."

"Thanks, Dick. I needed to hear that."

She left his embrace and retreated to her room. Maybe if she meditated, she could figure out what was wrong with her. And then she saw the mirror on her vanity. _I'm such an idiot!_ she thought. It was the mirror she used to look inside her mind, the one Beast Boy and Cyborg had once entered months ago. _Magic is primarily a power of the mind and soul. I can use this mirror to see inside myself. Maybe then I can find the problem._

She took the mirror in hand. Though she had no magic, she knew that the mirror would react to anyone who touched it—otherwise, Beast Boy and Cyborg would never have been able to use it. There was a flash along the silvered surface of the mirror. When Raven opened her eyes, she stood within her mind.

But it was radically different.

"Everything's…falling apart," she murmured in horror. "What could have done this? My mind is clearer than its ever been—what ailment do I have? What could have destroyed everything?"

She heard whimpering nearby and cautiously went over to it. She saw a huddled mass of tattered cloth. "You're my fear," Raven said. Fear leaped up, looked at her warily, and scurried back. "I'm not going to hurt you," Raven said soothingly. "I just want to ask a few questions."

"I can't help you," Fear said shakily. "The others know—but they're gone, now."

"The others—my emotions. Bravery, Happiness…they're all gone? How?"

Fear shook her head, sending the tattered remnants of her hood swaying. She pointed up to one of the catwalks floating in the starry space above. It was floating in shattered chunks. "When the walkways started breaking, they left. One by one. I stayed because I was afraid. I don't want to know what's out there. It's probably scary."

Raven's eyes narrowed in sudden understanding. "I see. Those catwalks could warp back around themselves and do other things that confuse and foil anyone who'd try to enter my mind—like they did with Beast Boy and Cyborg a while ago. Those walkways are basically my mental defenses. But now they're all broken, leaving me open and vulnerable. That I expected. But what I didn't realize was that those defenses also caged in my emotions. I didn't know I treated my emotions like a pathogen that needed to be quarantined. Now my emotions are free. But that doesn't explain why I lost my magic."

Fear pointed in a direction. "You might want to ask the new guy."

"New guy?"

Fear nodded emphatically. "He appeared out of nowhere right before the catwalks started breaking and the others started leaving. He kept saying that it was time for us to go. But I don't want to go. It's scary out there."

"Then stay here," Raven said simply, already making her way toward this 'new guy.'

Normally, she could simply will the world within her mind to obey her whim, such as by making the distances between two points shrink to practically nothing. But she couldn't do that, anymore. So the walk took her longer than she expected.

She found a crumbling pile of rocks with a small opening within. She entered and found herself within Wayne Manor's library. All of the books on the shelf were stories of Sherlock Holmes. "This is weird," she murmured. "I wouldn't put anything like this in my mind."

"No," said a shadowed figure in the corner, "but it's a place where strong emotions started to build. And so it remains in your mind, and one of the three keys to why you're power is fading."

Raven couldn't see his face, but she wasn't afraid of him. She spoke boldly, "You must be the new guy." He nodded deferentially. "Explain what you mean about these three keys," she demanded.

"Three keys—three places, three events in your life that changed you. You sacrificed a part of yourself, gave of yourself, and as a result, lost a bit of your magic each time." His hands spread out, gesturing at the shelves. "Here, for instance, was where it all began. Now follow me and I'll show you the next key."

He went to a door that should have led to a hallway. Instead, it opened into the balcony of the Crème De La Crème. Raven's stomach lurched; she was beginning to see where this was going. And it frightened her. But her discomfiture went unnoticed by the figure. His arm swept to include everything on the balcony: chairs, tables, and stage. Though it was unoccupied, Raven thought she heard the sound of the band playing.

"Strong emotions were here," he murmured. "And one more part of your powers waned."

He went back through the door and Raven followed. But it didn't lead back to the library. It led to the lake.

"No…" Raven murmured despairingly, her fears fully realized in the dreadful beauty of the moonlight on the water. "No, please, God, no. I'm happy…_we're_ happy. God, please don't take it from me."

The shadowed figure's shoulders seemed to sag, as if under a great weight. She could finally see his face, lit by the moonlight. It was Robin, or the dream-figure of Robin. "I'm afraid that your feelings for Dick are what took away your powers, Raven," he said apologetically.

He pointed to the lake. "The last key. Where you finally let go of all your barriers. This was the moment your defenses broke. When your emotions escaped and came back to the surface. You're happy because you let him into your life—every aspect of it. But you had to lower the walls around your heart to do that. You let your emotions rule you. And you know better than anyone else just how important control over your emotions is to your sorcery."

Raven slid to her knees, numbness creeping into her heart. "I can't…I can't…You can't ask me to give him up! Not for my magic! There has to be another way," she screamed desperately. "Any way—there just has to be a way I can have them both. You can't ask this of me! You can't ask me to give one of them up! _It isn't fair, God damn it!_"

The dream-figure looked at her with infinite sadness. "I'm sorry, Raven. But you've spent so much time alone that your magic became reliant on your isolation from emotional attachments. Now you have to pay that price. And so will Robin."

Her head drooped. She was crying. "You can't ask this of me," she mumbled through her sobs. "We're so happy."

When she looked up, she was back in her room, alone except for her tears.

Author's Note: And there you have it. We're in the last leg of the story. Expect two more chapters before thisstory'scompleted.


	11. Chapter Eleven

Author's Note: Shameless Self-Promotion time. If you're liking this story, read my other Teen Titan fanfics, "The Purloined Heroes" and "The Line." This next chapter's slightly shorter than normal. I decided to splice this chapter into two, so there are still two more chapters left to write up.

**Chapter Eleven**

Raven spent the night crying. She didn't even fall asleep; her soul was in too much turmoil to find respite. Her tears wouldn't abate until mid-morning, when she finally dried her eyes. _I can't lie here like this,_ she thought with ironclad determination. _I'm not going to just let this happen. I can make this work. I can get my powers back and still be with him. There has to be a way._

She spent the better part of the day locked up in her room, isolating herself from everyone—including Robin. _I'm sorry, Dick,_ she thought to herself, _but right now I'll need all of my concentration._ She poured over the many tomes she collected over the years, books of power and spells. Most she'd read a dozen times over, but there were a few that she still hadn't been able to master. Those she flopped open in tall, dusty stacks. It was in these texts that she hoped to find some method, some hope.

"_A Mastery of Hermetics_, _A Principal Study of the Ten Words of Dioramic Power_, _Tome of Hexes_, _Marks of Principalities and Other Angelic Choirs_," she skimmed through the pages with frustration. Then she flung them all to the ground. "None of these are what I need!" She glanced at the clock. She had spent the past three hours looking through books that proved useless to her.

"None of the books I have can help me," she mused. "But what about the books Malchior had?" She shuddered when she thought about the shape-changing dragon who had tricked her and toyed with her heart. She despised him for it, but his defeat meant that all of the grimoires, librams, and lexicons he left behind were now hers. Given the dangerous and inherently evil nature of those particular texts, Raven had left them alone. But surely they contained some manner of power she could use….

"No," she growled firmly. "I won't study those things ever again. I released something very bad because Malchior taught me his ways. I won't go to them voluntarily. Not even for Dick. Not that he'd approve, anyway."

Then the crime alarm blared. Raven pushed her concerns aside and drew her cloak around her. _I may not have any powers, and I may only be useful as support, but I'm still a Titan._ She walked out and ran right into Robin; she stumbled.

He took her by the shoulders to keep her from falling. He looked into her eyes for a long, silent moment. Finally, he asked, "Did you work things out?"

Confused, Raven asked, "Work what out?"

"Whatever it is you wanted to keep us out of." He didn't sound accusing. He was only stating a fact.

Raven had to smile. _So discreet, my Dick. So understanding._ Aloud, she said, "Not really. But right now, there's other things on our list of priorities."

She and Robin joined up with the others inside the T-car. "What's going on, Rob?" Cyborg asked, hitting the gas.

"The Joker's in town," Robin answered with a hardened edge to his voice. Raven gasped; there were similar expressions of amazement and alarm throughout the rest of the team.

The Joker.

The best—and deadliest—villain around. And he was in their city.

"We got backup, right?" Beast Boy asked shakily, his joking attitude for once completely repressed. "I mean, I've heard stories about this guy. A complete loony who'd kill you as much as look at you—or worse."

"He do much worse than anything you or I could imagine," Robin said in low tones. "He's a monster. Plain and simple. Batman's en route now to assist, but that won't matter because no one has any idea what the Joker's planning. Which means we'll have to wait for the clown to make his move." Robin didn't sound like he enjoyed that prospect one bit.

Raven sympathized. "If we wait, then something bad will happen," she reasoned. "Innocents might get killed."

Robin nodded. "We're heading for Batman's position now," he announced. "Once we link up with him, maybe we can figure out a plan of attack."

Then came the explosion.

* * *

The T-car tumbled end over end, carried by the force of the explosion. It fell off the highway, down the mound, and into the revetment along the edge of the bay. Water splashed into the car through the tattered roof. The Titans within groaned at scraped limbs and bruised scalps.

"What was that?" Starfire asked wildly, growing frightened.

"Looks like the Joker decided to make his move," Robin said ominously. His seatbelt was jammed and he had to take a knife out of his utility belt to free himself. Once loose, he proceeded to cut the others out. "Everyone out, now," he ordered. "Quickly, before he gets down here."

Cyborg punched the driver-side door out, giving him a big enough exit. He pulled himself out of the wreckage, only to take a hard kick to the face. He grunted when he was kicked again and again and again. Thin fingers wrapped around his throat and pulled him out; he was tossed to the ground like a sack of meal.

"Tin men shouldn't swim," a wild, seething voice drawled. "He'll get rusty! Haw haw haw hee hee hee!"

Cyborg got up, shook his head, and aimed his arm cannon at the white-faced maniac standing by the wreck. "Don't move, dirt bag," he warned boldly, his weapon humming as it heated up.

The Joker, in all his maniacal glory, raised his hands up with flourish. "Such bravado! Such courage! Be it far from me to say no to a man of authority," he said gaily. Then the flower on his front coat pocket spat out a spray of green liquid. It struck Cyborg full on the chest, reacting with his metal armor plating. It hissed through as if going through so much hot butter. Cyborg screamed and fell back, disabled.

The Joker pranced back to the wrecked car and reached inside. "What other little fishies are in this sardine can? Oh my! A kitty!" He pulled out a very large—and very green—tiger, who swiped a paw at him. The Joker simply leaped away with masterful agility. Beast Boy padded closer, his claws digging into the earth.

"Now, now," the Joker said serenely. "The pretty kitty mustn't make Poppa mad! After all, you don't want me to put you to sleep!" He drew a large plastic gun from his coat pocket and pulled the trigger. The bullet—an enormous piece of cork—struck Beast Boy full in the chest, canceling his transformation while knocking him unconscious. The cork had been filled with lead shot.

"Oops," said the Joker, touching his fingers to his lips in an affected expression of bewilderment, "Looks like you just lost your sternum! Hoo hoo hoo! Hee hee hee! Haw haw haw!" He tossed the spent gun aside.

"So who's next?" he implored with a laugh. A burst of green fire tore the rest of the T-car apart. From the smelted metal flew Starfire, eyes aglow.

"You hurt my friends," the Tamarian said. "For that, you will pay!"

"I'm so very afraid," the Joker giggled. "Are you just talk, girl, or can you actually hit things other than cars?"

In response, she rained fire upon him.

But somehow the Joker danced through the deadly rainstorm with total ease, laughing merrily all the way. As soon as Starfire stopped to catch her breath, he drew another gun—this one loaded with a very large tranquilizer—and fired. Starfire hit the ground hard. The only fortune she found was that she was full of rhino tranqs when she hit the rocks.

The Joker went to the smoldering remains of the T-car. Robin and Raven were standing there, both in fighting stances, and the former with birdarangs in hand.

"I assumed this patsy group would be more of a challenge with you on it, Bat-brat," the Joker said with dark, serious menace. Then his voice suddenly lightened, "But you know what they say about people who assume: they just make an ass out of you and me! Get it? Woo hoo hoo hee hee!"

Robin squared his feet and whispered behind his shoulder to Raven, "Be very careful. He's completely unpredictable. I'll hold him off; you get the others and run."

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Raven protested.

"I'm the only one who has any experience fighting him," Robin retorted. "Just trust me on this. Get the others out of here. I'm counting on you." With that, the Boy Wonder rushed the Clown Prince of Crime, heralding his charge with two spinning birdarangs. Raven cursed him for a fool—a brave fool—and made a beeline for Starfire, who was closest to her position.

Robin never expected the birdarangs to hit—and the Joker obliged by dodging them both—but he didn't expect his enemy to be quite so adept at hand to hand. _He's gotten better,_ Robin thought worriedly. For every four punches he threw, only one connected, and only because the Joker was blocking it. But every time the clown threw a punch, it slammed full-force into Robin.

"Better think fast, bird-boy," howled the Joker, his white features a twisted in laughter. It was a ghastly, nightmarish visage. Robin was taken aback by the horrid sight, enough to drop his guard for a fraction of a second—long enough for his enemy to grasp his throat and start squeezing.

"Erk!"

"That's right," the Joker hissed quietly. "Feel that? That's the sensation of oxygen being cut off from your brain. And that darkening of your vision? That's death coming for you. You've lost, Boy Bumbler."

And then, suddenly, Robin's throat was free. He saw the Joker reel back, clutching at his bruised head. Raven stood nearby with several small rocks in hand. She was getting ready to throw another one.

The spot where her last missile hit had drawn blood; red streaked across the Joker's white face. He gritted his teeth and glared at them. "You'll pay for that," he swore in deadly tones.

"Raven, get out of here!" Robin ordered.

"Not on your life, Boy Wonder," she said. "I'll prove that I'm not useless."

"Damn it, this isn't the time or place for that!"

"The others are already out of harm's way," she said, ignoring him. "Now you and I are the only ones left. We either leave together or not at all." She said the last with the power of an ultimatum. Robin frowned but reconciled himself to those options.

_I trust you, Raven,_ he thought. _So I trust you know what you're getting yourself into._

Then the Joker's peals of laughter cut his line of thought. "How cute! I get to kill two birds with one stone! As they say, 'birds of a feather…'" and here he pulled a knife from his sleeve, "'die together!'" The knife whistled through the air with sharp malice.

Normally, Raven would have stopped the weapon with a thought. Simple telekinesis. It was second nature to her. But she didn't have that power anymore. So she could only watch helplessly as the knife embedded itself to the hilt in Robin's stomach. Robin screamed—wailed—in agony, clutching at the handle.

"_No!_" Raven cried. She knelt by him, at a loss at what to do. She never had to treat an injury of this severity before. She'd never even _seen_ a knife wound in her life! "Dick! Tell me how to fix this, what do you want me to do?" she said hurriedly, desperately.

"Stomach wound…" he said through gritted teeth. "Painful…_argh!_…most painful kind of wound. In my belt…third compartment from the right…."

She reached down and opened it. A handful of pellets fell into her hand.

Robin nodded in the Joker's direction. "Throw them…hurry…."

Raven tossed them without hesitation. When they hit the ground, they exploded in a bright, searing flash of light. The Joker cried out. Raven let out a pained grunt. But she didn't wait for the fire in her eyes to go away. She didn't wait for Robin to give her the word. She just hauled him up and helped him hobble away from the battlefield.

* * *

She helped Robin and the others to the infirmary, but as soon as she was alone, she let down her self-control and sank to her knees. "I couldn't…do anything," she murmured quietly. "I couldn't protect anyone. They got hurt…Dick got hurt…because I couldn't do what I had to do."

Her small fists assailed the shelves and bookcases around her room, knocking them over. Glass shattered, wood snapped. Tomes and papers flew into the air. "_I couldn't do anything!_" she shouted with all the despair in her soul.

And when she had spent her rage, she was left feeling so cold, so empty….

And so alone.


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Chapter Twelve**

Robin was sitting on a bed in the infirmary of Titan Tower. He was stripped to the waist, his blood-soaked vest and shirt lying discarded on a bench with his utility belt. Batman hovered near him.

"Did you get him?" Robin asked, grimacing as he stitched his own injury. He hated stomach wounds. They were just the pits.

"Yes," Batman answered coolly. "Those flash grenades you gave Raven blinded the Joker enough to make him an easy catch. Apparently, he was trying to seed the bay with a time-release toxin. He must have wanted to try for easier targets than Gotham."

"I'm just glad he's out of my hair." Robin took a pair of scissors and finished the stitch. "Sometimes I really hate this job," he groaned, leaning back into the bed. His stomach still felt like it was on fire, despite the painkillers he had taken. "I'm surprised I'm not in a million pieces yet."

"One gets used to it, I suppose," said Batman. He picked up Robin's utility belt and examined it. "You've made some modifications," he noted. "I didn't see these before."

"Something I picked up from Cyborg a week ago," Robin explained, pointing at a gadget. "It's like a GPS, but more precise."

"And this?" Batman opened another compartment.

"Uh…" Robin said hesitatingly, scrambling to take the belt away. _Don't let him see it!_ he thought wildly. But his injured stomach wouldn't let him move.

Batman opened the compartment. A pair of wrapped items fell into his hand. An eyebrow arched on the Dark Knight's grim visage.

"Care to explain this?" he asked his partner, holding up one of the items. It was a condom. He read the wrapping. "Has 'special heat-transferring materials' for 'maximum pleasure.' All this while being 'easy to use,' no less."

Robin shifted uncomfortably.

"I take it your relationship with Raven has…improved," Batman observed tonelessly.

"It's nothing like that," Robin protested. "Those…I bought them yesterday. I don't even know why. I was getting some painkillers at the pharmacy, for our medicine chest. And they just…stood out, for some reason."

Batman just looked at him.

"Honest! I…I really like Raven. She's important to me and I care about her. I respect her. Picking those things up…I felt dirty afterwards. I mean—aw, hell, I don't know what I mean."

"You mean you respect her but buying those made you feel like you were treating your relationship as something crude and distasteful," Batman reasoned.

"Yeah, that's it, you got it. Freudian psychoanalyst that you are," Robin added snidely.

Batman regarded the item in his hand again. "And you put them in your utility belt?"

"Well…I'm usually in costume these days."

Batman turned the contraceptive over in his fingers, his expression thoughtful. "When I was your age…before I took up the cape and cowl…I used to carry one of these in my wallet. It was something a lot of boys did at the time. Actually, when I was first starting out as a crimefighter, I used to carry one in my belt, too. Catwoman, Talia. You get the idea." He handed the item back to Robin. "Maybe you should, too. You never know." He was grinning.

Robin laughed. _That's certainly one way of giving the Talk,_ he thought wryly. Aloud, he said, "I didn't know you had a sense of humor."

"Seriously Dick," Batman said, "you're entering some unusual territory."

"You make it sound like I've never been in a relationship before," Robin said.

"You've certainly never had to buy one of these when you were with Batgirl," Batman replied, fingering the contraceptive meaningfully.

"I said I bought them on impulse," Robin protested weakly.

"And impulse, in my experience, shows what you're really thinking about," his mentor said.

"You don't make me sound like the most chivalrous person," Robin noted shamefacedly.

Batman laid a hand on Robin's shoulder. "Dick, there's nothing wrong with wanting this. But you have to think about Raven, too. Are you both ready to progress that far in your relationship? It's a big step. I'm just concerned that you might be taking this too fast. I don't want you to do anything that would ruin the happiness you found with her."

Robin spoke seriously, "Trust me, I don't want to." Then he smiled brightly. "I definitely want to be with her, Bruce—body and soul. I…I love her. But right now, I like things just the way they are."

Robin grimaced as his stomach knotted up. It hurt like hell. He sighed as a thought hit him. "Raven's probably chewing herself up over this. Me getting hurt, I mean. She lost her powers a while ago. The Joker simply couldn't pick a more convenient time, could he?"

"Are you going to talk to her?"

"Yeah."

Batman silently left the room. Robin sighed again, threw on his shirt, grabbed his vest and cape, and headed out.

**Author's Note:** A change in style here. I tried to lighten the mood, considering how depressing the next (and final!) chapter could be. I always wondered what "daddy" Batman would do if he ever caught Robin in a situation like this. Batman's "wallet" dialogue is based off an episode of SeaQuest DSV, which is actually where I got the silly idea that spawned this particular chapter. This chapter's kind of an experiment; it was never part of the original storyline I devised.

**Second Note:** Because of the drama involved in the final chapter, there will be no "Author's Note" section in Chapter 13. Putting one there would detract from the impact of that chapter. So stay tuned for the conclusion.


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Chapter Thirteen**

Robin knocked on Raven's door. When she didn't immediately answer, he announced, "Raven…I need to talk to you. I'm coming in." And he pushed his way inside.

Though he had suspected something like it, he still frowned at the devastation he found. _She's taking it hard,_ he thought. "Raven, can I talk to you?" He found her huddled on her bed, sheets pulled over her head. He sat down next to her and rubbed her back. "Hey."

But she didn't stir. She only murmured quietly, "Hey yourself."

Since she didn't seem extroverted enough to talk, Robin decided to open up the conversation. "Don't beat yourself up, Raven. If it wasn't for you, Batman wouldn't have been able to catch the Joker."

"That's a piss-sad conclusion, and you know it," she growled from under the covers. "You were the one who gave me the flash grenades. And even then, all I could do was run away. Yes, I got everyone to safety, but they were all hurt—you almost got killed! And it's because I couldn't do what needed to be done."

Robin felt for her, he really did. It must have been hard for those who depended on their powers for so long to suddenly be stripped of them. To be stripped of what made them special. But Robin had studied under Batman, a normal human being, someone who didn't believe in identifying himself with some special power. He made his own identity. And so did Robin. _Maybe it's time Raven learned that lesson,_ he mused.

"Raven," he began, "you're only human. You were born with special powers, abilities that I couldn't dream of. And you were good with them. But now you can't use them. So instead of moping, why don't you learn some new tricks? I can teach you all sorts of things, and it'll probably be easier for you because you already have a great deal of discipline."

This time, she did stir. She sat up, letting the covers fall away from her. She looked at him sorrowfully. "You don't understand. Magic wasn't just my power. It wasn't just who I _was_. It was what I _needed_. We have responsibilities, Dick, to all those innocents out there. I can learn all the tricks in the book, but they pale beside what I know I can really do. Without my magic," and here she lowered her head, "without my magic…I'm no good to anyone."

"Raven…."

"I can learn all the tricks in the world, Dick, but I won't be able to do what needs to be done—not to the extent I know I'm capable of. If I didn't give it my all to protect those people out there…to protect you and Beast Boy and Cyborg and Starfire…then what good am I as a Titan?" Her fingers intertwined with his. She brought his hand to her lips and kissed his knuckles.

"I wish I could've been born a normal girl," she whispered suddenly. "Then I could be with you all the time. I wish we didn't have to wear masks and capes and costumes. It would have been easier, simpler. We wouldn't have the burdens we do now." She smiled sadly. "But I wonder if we'd have been together if we were."

"Normal or not, it wouldn't matter," Robin said quietly. "Because I know I would still feel this way about you. I fell in love with you because you're Raven—it doesn't matter if you're a superhero, a mage, or anything else. Even without your powers, you're still Raven to me. Nothing could change that. Even if you were born a normal girl, I'd just have fallen in love with you all over again."

She closed her eyes and sighed. "Thank you, Dick." Then tears started to form under her closed lids.

He wiped them away. "What's wrong?"

"I know how to get my powers back," she whispered very, very quietly. "But I also know the price I'd have to pay."

"What? Tell me."

She sniffled and looked at him, holding him with her gaze, giving weight and import to her words. "My magic is based on my emotional control. But I lost that control and so I lost my powers. And it's because of you, Robin. Because I fell in love with you. Funny, isn't it? That love could be a weakness. If I want to use my magic ever again, we can't be together."

"No…."

"Yes. That's the price. I can either be with you—be _happy_ with you—or fulfill my duty as a Teen Titan." Her grip on his hands tightened with desperation. "I can either be selfish…or selfless." She smiled a small, sardonic, yet somehow wistful, smile. "I could be a superhero…or a normal girl."

Robin stood and pulled her up, wrapping his arms tightly around her. "Don't do it, Raven," he said into her ear. "Stay with me. Please. I want this, you want this. We have something very special. We're happy together. It's okay to be selfish. You've done more than enough to protect this city…."

"You say that," Raven whispered back, pulling away from his embrace, "and I can even believe it. But I know you, Dick. I know why you took up the cape and cowl, why it was so important for you to protect people."

She had her hands pressed against his chest, not wanting to break contact with him. She wanted to cherish the feeling of his chest under her fingers, the scent of him, the aura around him. "I know why you agonize over the nineteen people who died because of that mad bomber. Why you constantly throw yourself into battle against Slade, the Joker, and all the other criminals that crawl out of the woodwork. It's because of duty, of responsibility. Because you know you have the power to prevent another tragedy like what happened to your parents. Because you want to give it your all. I feel the same way—I _had_ the power to change things for the better…and I could have it again. And if I didn't give it my all…no matter what happens…then what would being a Titan mean?"

She closed her eyes and looked away. "If I were to be selfish, if you were to condone it, you wouldn't be able to live with yourself. You would have helped me shirk my responsibilities. And that, more than any physical wound, would have hurt you the most."

She looked back to him…and saw him weeping. "Shh," she said softly, caressing his face. "Shh, my love." She touched her forehead against his. She wanted to weep, too. "I know it hurts. I feel it too. I love you, Dick. You gave me something very precious. I love you so much."

"Raven, don't leave me, please," Robin murmured. "Don't end it. I love you—don't do it."

"You'd never forgive yourself," she replied. "And I couldn't hurt you like that, ever."

In desperation, Robin took her shoulders and forced her to look at him. "Don't do this, please," he begged, "We just got this relationship started. Things are going better than either of us could have dreamed. We love each other. Don't do something you'll regret."

Raven felt the tears run down her face, but she didn't sob; she had reconciled what she had to do. "I'm sorry, Dick. I guess it was never meant to be."

She reached up and took off his mask, looking into his brown eyes. "You're so handsome," she murmured. "But you hide behind a mask. You're lucky—you don't lose anything by hiding or by being in the open. Me—only by hiding can I be of any use to you and the people we're protecting. Only by hiding can I give it my all."

She pressed her forehead against his chest. "I wish—I really, really wish—it could have been different. I'll never forget what we had, Robin, and I'll always feel this special feeling for you…but I can't be with you anymore.

"It has to end, Dick," she said sadly. "I won't let another night like tonight happened again. For the good of everyone we're fighting for, it has to end."

Her arms wrapped around his neck and she pulled him close to her. She tilted up her head. Her voice was barely a whisper, "Enjoy this kiss, because it's the last one we'll ever have." When their lips parted, she said softly, "I'm sorry, Dick…Robin."

Then she drew her hood over her face, shrouding her features in shadow. Somehow, Raven felt…at home again. But it didn't feel quite like home anymore. She walked away from her love, left him standing there, speechless. She could sense his turmoil, but she couldn't do anything about it. Not anymore. She walked her path.

She returned to the darkness of her room. And she felt the familiar embrace of isolation. But it wasn't quite so familiar.

_I choose this,_ she thought with menace, _because I know that I don't have a choice. But I'll never welcome the darkness ever again. You've taken away the one man I cared about, the one person who understood and cherished me._

_You'll still be there, shadowing me, giving me power. You gave me back my skills, made me a Teen Titan again. As a result, he and I will work together, as before. We will protect the people of this city like we always did. But you ruined any future we had together. He will never be Dick Grayson to me ever again. He will only be Robin. And it's because of you, because of what you made me do._

_So never again will I willingly come back to you. Not after this. Not after what you made me give up. Never again._

Standing there, in the darkness of her room, Raven said only two words.

"Goodbye, Dick."

**The End**


	14. Final Author's Notes

**Final Author's Notes**

Many have asked for a sequel. Some…demanded it.

My answer?

No.

Perhaps it was unfair—even cruel—to leave _The Weakness That Is Love_ with such an unhappy ending. But remember the title and the premise: love is a weakness. And weaknesses are either overcome or hidden. Raven, I feel, is someone very adept at hiding. So she buries her emotions once again.

It never planned this story with a happy ending in mind. It would have drawn away from the impact I wanted it to have on readers. If you felt betrayed, felt sorrow for the young lovers, then I've done what I set out to do. If it meant breaking a couple apart, then so be it. It's a lesson that is taken to the grave.

When I began writing this story, I had only a vague notion of what I wanted. I wanted to explore a more mature relationship, one in which love can destroy as well as create. The key? Raven. This story is about Raven. She was the character I had in mind throughout the writing process. Love gave her something special and precious, beyond anything her magic ever could. She laughed. She cried. She fell in love. But love also took away that which made her special.

And so, she leaves Robin.

It isn't fair, nor was it ever supposed to be.

Soren Kierkegaard, a Danish existentialist philosopher, once wrote that faith is absurd, irrational—and that is a good thing, for faith has no meaning if there were a logical reason to have it. This is the view I had on love while writing this story. Love shouldn't be a rational thing, something that can be quantified or reasoned with. Love needs no rationalization for it to happen. Love has no meaning if there is logic behind the feeling itself.

But the same is true for heroism. Logically, why would anyone ever want to risk their lives for the sake of total stranger? Why would Batman throw himself against murderers and madmen? Why would the Teen Titans sacrifice their young lives so very many times?

Responsibility and duty. These may have their reasons, they may have their quantification. But the courage that they draw on does not require reasons. What meaning does heroism have if you have to justify it?

And so, Raven abandons love to continue to be a hero. It saddens her, cuts her deeply, and leaves her wondering about the worth of her powers…after all, they took away the only happiness she found in another human being. But now she can protect others, to ensure that other lovers can be together.

Perhaps that is enough. Perhaps it will never fill the void.

In short, there is no sequel, nor will there be.

This is not to say that I won't write happier stories about the Teen Titans later. But _The Weakness That Is Love_ will remain that—a story about weakness…and heroism.


End file.
